Hello everyone. Here is the very very late update. I won't explain myself. Anyway. So WreckItRalphFan (on for people who are on ) drew a cover drawing for Trauerfall. I will put it up as the cover soon. Much thanks to her. :D
For two weeks life at the camp got worse for me. I knew the Nazis were making it harder on me because Erik Lindberg favored me.
They kept me working past the time the others were, I wasn't allowed to eat, and if I didn't do something just right I was whipped on the spot.
My clothes were full of holes and blood. My back ached and I could barely sleep at night from the pain. The pain was so bad every move I made sent a red hot pain up my back. I could imagine how Erik felt when he had been whipped until his skin tore.
Where was he? Was he even still at the camp or had they put him in jail?
Tears sprung to my eyes at the thought of him there. The memory of him being whipped because of me was still so fresh. As if it were two hours ago and not two weeks.
He hadn't even regretted taking my punishment. I almost expected him to hate me for it, but instead he said he cared for me and was going to help me escape this prison. Only it had been weeks now and I hadn't seen him since that night. Not even a quick glance of him. It was as if he disappeared.
All the field work was over so now the Nazis started making us dig massive holes. The stench in the air clearly was death.
I knew we were digging mass graves for the Jews who were or going to be gassed and shot. The thought sickened me. Between that thought and the stench I nearly vomited several times over the past week.
For all we knew we were digging our own graves.
The work was backbreaking. Almost half the workers fell over and died from heat and exhaustion. I was afraid I wasn't far behind them. I felt so weak I could barely hold myself up anymore. The soldiers were beginning to get furious with me.
"Get over here Jew girl," it was Reed barking my name. He was with a cluster of soldiers. I had a bad feeling something wasn't right just by his tone of voice.
I walked over to him slowly and cautiously.
As soon as I was in reach Reed yanked me to the concrete ground roughly. I didn't even make a sound. I was so used to being rough-handed. I'm sorry to say it was becoming a second nature. I always expected pain.
The Nazis laughed at me and jeered.
"Let's let her have it, boys," said Reed.
My stomach dropped as they closed in around me. They all laughed like they knew some funny joke about me.
I laid there without a word. I was so tired I didn't care. If they were going to finish me off they would.
The soldiers surrounded me even closer.
I felt as if I were closed in by a pack of ravenous wolves.
Reed drew in closer still and gave me a sharp kick in the stomach.
My breath was knocked out instantly, but I refused to react.
….That was only one kick and then a series of more furious and hard kicks followed after. Over and over they came. The pain was white hot.
I clenched my teeth to keep from screaming out in pain. I had never in my life wished for death more than that moment.
"What is going on here?!" It was Erik and he sounded livid.
Reed kicked me in the gut once more; this time sharper than before.
I curled up in a ball. To my humiliation a whimper of pain escaped my lips. There went the rest of my small dignity.
Erik froze when he saw me. His expression was one of horror. His eyes held mine and I refused to let those kicks make me look away from him.
"Please help me," I gave him an inaudible whisper. He seemed to understand my unspoken words.
"What has this stupid girl done now Lieutenant?" Erik's voice was so harsh and it was so real I shrank back, almost afraid of him. He then gave me a disgusted look.
Tears started filling up in my eyes. I could take a beating from 6 men and their boots but I couldn't handle his hate and disgust. I knew he was putting up a show for the Nazis but it felt so real I almost believed he meant it.
Reed kicked me again in the head this time.
A sharp pain filled my head and I started feeling dizzy.
"Come now, Erik. You know you want to give your two cents. Go ahead and kick her, one said.
"Better have fun while you can because this one is being gassed first thing tomorrow," Reed said casually.
The dizziness I felt almost overcame me. I was going to die tomorrow. Numbness overtook me and suddenly I had no fight left. I had even begun to think if just maybe the war would end Erik and I could possibly have a future of some sort. He hadn't exactly told me he was in love with me but I knew it was there somewhere and someday he might come to love somebody like me. I already knew I loved him…That didn't matter though, not anymore.
I glimpsed Erik's horror stroke face a second before it smoothed back into Nazi steel. He forced out a hard laugh.
"Be my guest, Lindberg," Reed stepped aside and gestured for Erik to have a turn kick.
Erik came up slowly to me and whispered so quietly I barely caught his words; his face blank.
"I'm so sorry."
He kicked me while the others cheered.
You guys want to kill me don't you?
Review if you want an update and please tell me what you think. Ideas welcome.