I'm bad, I'm poison,
I'm fire, I'm the vicious wind,
I'm the troubled waters.
I need to grasp the emptiness
until my fingertips are raw,
until my skin is bruised.
How could they not know
how dark I am, how irreparable I am?
With my brown hair and dead eyes.
In the forest, where nothing
and everything hides, I want
to be alone, to never be found.
I need this unbearable pain,
this excruciating humilliation
to find my way through the fog.
Even as I hear their voices,
see their eyes peering, I know
is all morbid expectation.
I'm alone, with no one but my reflection
to keep me company, as if I was a
helpless animal, a caged bird.
I am not needed, I am forgotten,
I am a burden, I am disappointment,
I am shame and I am dead.
See there's this light inside me,
there's also darkness, but
everything around me clouds me with their shadows.
I am to be quiet, to sew my mouth closed,
to close the door to my mind, to act out of
gratitude towards the ones who'd rather see me gone.
There's no brilliant path ahead of me,
no dreams to be fulfilled, they were
murdered, by no one else but me.