She can't stand it when people call her nice.
It is a common happening – she's beautiful and sixteen and clever and no one can see past it and she cannot stand it. She is not nice. She is not a nice person.
Nice was what her mother had wanted (Nice was her mothers favorite word. The niceties of niceness are nothing. Why didn't Dr. Seuss write this book?) – it was about selflessness and naivety and a kind of femininity that always had more to do with who you've been for the past thousand years than with who you are now, and yes, some people tend to call it rebellion. But she thinks that sounds like something Robin Hood would do, and prefers to call it aiming to be different (noticed) and she cannot hide behind the child her mother wanted. Not anymore.
They call her "nice." But no, she doesn't know how to make them see that she's not nice. She's not. She's not nice – no, she's just a desperate little girl who needs to be accepted and needs to fit an has care that flows through her veins. It's not nice.
She looks outside the window, toast half way to her mouth and strawberry jam smeared on her bottom lip as she thought about it.
She still managed to look beautiful
She didn't believe in 'nice.' 'Nice' never let anyone look beyond the obvious and people who were 'nice' just made her want to grab the world by the shoulder and yell "Don't you see that you're just a clone?"
It's infuriating and aggravating and honestly – she doesn't see the appeal of it. As far as qualities go, it doesn't hold much weight, requires no discernible skill other than, I'll change who I am, become calm, detached and clean, so we can fit together, but the world's dynamic is out of control like some sort of backwards-too-crowded family – it's never been comfortable and certainly never been simple – try to smooth it over with hugs and kisses and can'twealljustplaynice? but there's just too many of them.
'Nice' is emotionally, physically and sexually abused – grabbed and pushed and tugged and shoved and stolen and used and taken because it's so so hard so say no when you have to say it softly and politely and nicely.
'Nice' puts the others needs ahead of her own, always and forever - 'Nice' isn't even sure she has a right to put her own needs first, because who is she to ask for something from the world, even if it's just to be put first for once. It should be impossible, with the size of the world these days, to be always last, but 'nice' just never seems to come first.
'Nice' is not about morals. 'Nice' is about a lack of boundaries.
"It's not nice not to share," they would say.
And why should I find it preferable to be "nice?"
Nobody ever explained that.