Are you watching me die?
Is it making you cry?
Or are you laughing your head off
at the blood in my eyes?
I'm screaming 'cause it's buzzing
and I'm slamming my fist into my skull
I'm daydreaming about running
and crashing face-first into a wall
If I'm dreaming, it's not happening,
though I'm wishing it was real
'Cause people are stupid,
and I feel so useless,
and I'm not sure how much longer I can deal.
Help me, I'm not dealing
Save me, I'm not healing
I think I'm okay, then I'm twitching
Almost under control then I'm flipping out
I suddenly know that my chest is caving in
And that damn black hole has replaced my lungs again.
So I politely call you things you wouldn't say to a priest
With a smirk designed to patronize
And vacant yet inhuman eyes
Then leave you without warning and a laugh that makes you cringe.
Maybe you found me or I can't stay away
Maybe I'm screaming or crying or trying to BREATHE
Half of every word's a lie
But a little bit is better
(Or just less distressing)
Than hearing all the times I faded out of my own life.