SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 2
It's REALLY late at night. Any minute now Mom and Dad are going to come in and tell me to go to sleep. I'm under the blanket with a flashlight. Anyways, before we go any further I should tell you about how I got you.
Today is September 2nd, my birthday! I am eleven. Tomorrow is September 3rd, the first day of sixth grade.
Mom and Dad bought this nice notebook for my birthday. I like to write stories, so I guess they thought I would write some here. But I think I want to try keeping a diary. I think all famous people have diaries, and then they sell them and make a lot of money.
I'm going to be famous one day. My best friend Susan Ling gave me a magic eight ball for my birthday and I asked it if I was going to be famous and it said yes. Susan said it was from a cursed pool table, but I don't think I believe her, because I saw a Target sticker on it. Oh well. It was nice anyway.
I had a birthday party, even though I think I'm too old. I mean, I'm almost in sixth grade. But it wasn't technically a real birthday party. It was a pool party at the Y, so I don't think it counts. Here is who came:
My fourteen-year-old sister, Julia
My nine-year old sister, Allison
My best friend Susan Ling
My second-best-friend, Fawn Richards
I didn't want to invite Diana Chase, because she's not my friend. In fact, she's not really anyone's friend. I know you're not supposed to say that, and you're supposed to be friends with everyone, but it's just not true. But Diana's mom works with my mom, and according to Mom, this means I have to be friends with her. But you can't make someone be friends someone else, and I don't want to be Diana's friend. She's the kind of girl who laughs too hard and too long at jokes that aren't even funny. She's always the one who reminds the teachers about homework and recess ending. AND her hair is blonde, but when she goes swimming it turns snot-colored. She also peed her pants once in second grade math when the teacher wouldn't let her go to the bathroom. It was gross. She's gross. She makes farts a lot, but she always blushes and stammers and yells it wasn't her. Nobody is her friend.
I tried to explain all this to Mom, but that made her more determined to make me invite her. Whenever I try to explain all of it to her, she tells me I have to be nice to her and not make fun of her. Which is so stupid, because I AM nice to her. AND I've NEVER made fun of her. Well, except with Susan and Fawn. But that doesn't count because you can say whatever you want with your best friends and it doesn't count. It's just that I didn't want her at my party.
Still, it was a nice party, even with Diana. I wonder if sixth grade will be as nice. I asked the magic eight ball, but it just said to "Ask Again Later".
Uh-oh, Dad is yelling at me to go to sleep. Good night, Diary