Call Me Irresponsible

Synopsis: Donald Rutheford has more than his fair share of trouble after attending a drunken frat party. He doesn't remember any of it whatsoever. Piece by piece the confusion from the party is made sense of and he makes good on his promise to marry the woman he accidentally made pregnant. He also finds better friends to hang with in the near future, since they were the ones that talked him into the Baccenal to begin with.

~*~ Cast ~*~

Donald Rutheford:

Ethan Rutherford: (Donald's dad)

Beth Rutherford: (Donald's mom)

Frederico 'Rico' Mendez: (bad influence)

Randy Angus: (another bad influence)

Harold Quentin: (another bad influence)

Douglass 'Doug' Wolter: (new, better influence)

Rory Jarvis: (new, better influence)

Bruce Dalton: (new, better influence)

Treyvon Brown: (new, better influence)

Brandon Weiss: (Sierra's dad)

Diedra Weiss: (Sierra's mom)

Sierra Weiss:

Robin Greensburg: (Sierra's best friend)

Mackenzi 'Kenzi' Silver: (Another bff)

Scene 1-Lack of Reason

Donald: (outside the college, we see Don getting together with some bad influences that he normally doesn't associate with) Hey, dudes ! What's up !

Rico: Oh, man...if it isn't Don ! The life of the party ! We've got this massive kegger lined up for the weekend right before Spring Break, broseph !

Randy: Hell, yes ! It's gonna be off the chain !

Harold: You're gonna be there, right Don ? Rico, Randy and I are all attending. It's only going to be the most happenin' shindig this side of the campus. Sigma Kappa Phi, baby...

Don: I didn't have to do anything special to get into your frat, guys. I did my homework and slaved my butt off...

Rico: It's not about the academics, esse !

Harold: Yeah, don't you know anything ?

Randy: Harold, he's never been to a kegger before.

Harold: (taking him by the shoulders) Well, it's time we take this weak sapling and grow him into a strong oak !

Rico: You won't regret this, Don. It's going to be a night to remember, fo sho !

Don: (narrating) It was probably about that time that my reason should've screamed at me from the recesses of my psyche, 'You IDIOT ! Don't you realize what you are getting into ?' But, no...Not Donald Rutheford. Not by a long-shot. Before I knew it, I was at the Sig Kap Phi party and being pressured into inbibing massive amounts of booze...

(Dancing to Popska's Atlantis)

Rico: What did we tell ya ? Ain't this the way to relax ? No worries, nada !

Don: I'll have to say, this party is off the hook.

Harold: Look at all these hot chicks, dude ! Something's telling me Donnie boy here might just get lucky.

Don: (hiccups) I might just shag every lady in the room...

Randy: Then let's let the party animal loose ! Awoooooo !

(Don continues dancing around a bit and accidentally bumps into a very attractive sorority girl who is also blotto.)

Sierra: Hey, sexy. Come to frat parties often ? (hiccups)

Don: No, or I would've remembered a slammin' bod like yours... (drapes arms around her, dancing with her)

Sierra: My gosh, you are forward. I like that in a man.

Don: I'll tell you what...Let's blow this pop stand and go a little somewhere more quiet. (narrating) What's strange is after all of this happened, even the vivacious, passionate sex that we had, I don't recall any of it, and I didn't even remember the gorgeous gal I had been with. It just seemed so tawdry, so unlike me and the gentleman I had always been...

(While he is narrating, they leave the party, go back to his dorm and have wild, energetic sex. An updated 'Call Me Irresponsible' as an instrumental theme plays in the background until it fades into the background. Only the movement and sound of Sierra and Don making love can be seen and implication is made solely from that. Once Don awakens, he finds himself 'worshipping the porcelain God' and feeling horrible.)

Scene 2-The Morning After

Don: (wretching) Ugh...God... What was I doing last night ? What just happened ?

(getting up and looking at himself in the mirror) Oh, dude...I look exactly like street pizza, or worse. My breath reeks of alcohol. (room is still spinning) I need to sit down for a while.

(His cell phone rings)

Sierra: (a little upset) Donald Rutheford ?

Don: Yes, who may I ask is calling ?

Sierra: You probably don't recall me from last night's druken revelry, but I am the girl you slept with last night.

Don: (slaps hand over face) Crap...I am so sorry...I wasn't myself...

Sierra: I wasn't either. I got to drinking and then...

Together: I don't remember bumpkus.

Sierra: I'm a little pissed at you right now if you didn't realize.

Don: I gathered. What for ?

Sierra: (getting more insensed) I'm pregnant, you moron ! Luckily for you it won't be noticable until after I have graduated...But I am going to need work immediately.

(Taylor Swift's 'I Knew You Were Trouble' is playing in the background.)

I'm going to be an RN, Don. How am I supposed to have time to take care of the baby ?

Don: (groaning) I'll...step up to help. I've never really wanted to have children or be married but... Looks like I'm going to have to grit my teeth and bare it. I am really sorry about all of this.

Sierra: Sorry ? (seething) You are sorry... If I weren't a pacifist, I'd come over there and kick your ass so hard...

Don: Look, I know you're angry. We're both upset and scared. I know you probably hate me, Sierra. Let's at least give this thing a chance. Let me prove that I can be a man about this whole situation. I will help however I can. After all, I am going into the legal field. I'm sure that will be very meritorious for us.

Sierra: (cooling down a bit) I guess you're not a total bastard then.

Don: Not even close, my friend. Whenever you need someone, just call me.

Sierra: (tearing up slightly) You mean that ?

Don: Trying to soothe the troubled waters. It's an olive branch. I hope you accept.

Sierra: Deal. I hope you don't mind all the yelling I did earlier...

Don: No, I understand completely. Hey, don't cry. We'll get through this. I'm as ill prepared as you but we'll meet this challenge together.

(narrating) I knew I was more than correct about my assessment of the entire situation and I was getting in over my head but something about Sierra just drew me closer and closer, and no, it wasn't her maternal glow.

(Scene fade...)

Scene 3-Balancing Lamaze and Homework

Don: (narrating) More than one time, I broke down and called my parents to let them know what had happened. I also found new friends that were better influences on me. The other guys, well, they thought I was a mega-dork and tended to their own vices. Needless to say, they're not graduating at the top of their class like someone happens to be.

(phone rings while Don is sleeping after an all-night study session and the last track from 'Tribal Shubert' is playing softly in the background)

Don: (nearly screams like a girl, answers phone, drowsily) Hello ?

Ethan: Hey, sport. It's your dad again.

Don: Oh, thank GOD.

Ethan: That bad, huh ?

Don: Dad, I'm at my wits' end...or, nearing the frays of wherever wits' end happens to be.

Beth: How are studies and Lamaze classes ?

Don: I'm drained mom. I didn't know I was going to grow so close to Sierra in such a short amount of time. We're practically inseperable, but...

Beth: But what, Donny ?

Don: (a catch in his voice) I'm scared. Although I have a job lined up right after I graduate, and Sierra, luckily, too, I am not ready to be a parent. I'm freaking out !

Ethan: We felt the same way.

Don: My new friends, Doug, Treyvon, Bruce and Brandon have been troopers during finals week. Coincidentally we all have the same classes even though we're in different fields. They've kept me motivated.

Beth: That's a plus then, honey. Those punks that you were associated with long ago, they're out of your life.

Ethan: Besides, Sierra gets along really well with us.

Don: (a bit intensely) That's another issue. I haven't even met her side of the family.

I've met her friends, all of which are really kind, generous and supportive. I'm just...


Beth: When did she want you to meet her folks ?

Don: With the added factor of her friends coming along with us and having to make even more of a better impression, I can't even recall when it was. (exhales sharply)

Let me look at my schedule. (finds his day planner and begins flipping through it)

Oh, crud. This weekend. That's the weekend before finals.

Ethan: Son, listen to me. You're gonna be splendid. You and the guys have been studying, right ?

Don: Pulling all nighters. Our brains are about to rot !

Beth: They're overloaded...You need a break. Don't fret. Seeing Sierra's family is the vacay you guys need.

Don: I don't really see it that way, mom.

Ethan: Just be yourself. The rest will follow. Don't forget, we love you. Go kick butt on your final.

Beth: Yeah, Donny. Give 'em heck !

Don: (narrating) It wasn't really the finals that had me concerned. It was being in a car with three women going to meet complete strangers and doing my best not to come off like a total douchebag... you know, the one that banged your daughter ?

(as the scene changes, we see Don practically cringing with the girls as they sing 'Trouble' at the top of their lungs, in key, oddly enough.)

Scene 4-Meeting the Parents

('Hollerado's Pick Me Up' is playing on their radio as they pull into Sierra's parents' driveway.)

Don: (inhaling and exhaling, to himself) Alright. Moment of truth, Rutheford. Don't speak unless spoken to, be chill, relax... Just be you.

Sierra: My parents are dying to meet you. I've told them all about you.

Don: (still nervous despite the fact he is trying desperately to breathe deeply so he doesn't pass out)

Robin: Loosen up, Don ! It's just Sierra's folks ! From what I hear, you're a big hit with them.

Kenzi: (slaps him hard on the back) Robin's right. Lean back, take a load off. You look pale as a ghost.

Don: (whispering to the girls) I love your enthusiasm, ladies, but you're not in my shoes. As we all know, I am going to ask permission from Sierra's lovely parental units for her hand. Sierra doesn't know about this yet. She thinks I'm here only to meet her parents formally.

Kenzi: (nearly bursting) O-M-G, that is the most romantic thing I have ever heard.

You are brilliant ! Sierra's so lucky to have a guy like you ! (hugs him from the side)

Don: Too tight ! Too tight, Kenz !

Kenzi: Sorry, Don. I simply think the idea is dreadfully romantic and the brucest thing ever.

Don: (raises eyebrow) Brucest ?

Kenzi: (bites tongue) Best, I said best.

Don: (chuckling) Ookay.

Robin: Come on, you two ! Sierra's waiting !

Don: (narrating) Once that door opened, my heartrate was faster than a jackrabbit escaping a pack of wolves. Sierra introduced me, and I shakily made my presense known. All seemed to be going swimmingly, even if I did feel that any second I'd fall to my knees and faint. I had to remain strong. I loved their daughter and want to do all I can to provide for her.

Diedre: So, you're not too far from becoming a lawyer ?

Don: No. We've almost graduated. Sierra's already gotten her job, as you well know.

Sierra: Thank heavens for the benefits...I can take maternity leave once the baby's born... (hugs Don close to her and he kisses her cheek)

Don: About that...You know how we had been talking about the possibility of making a family ?

Sierra: What ? What are you going on about ?

Don: (pulls a little velvet case from the back of his pocket) I was thinking that you and I could make that official.

Sierra: Are you joking ? Clearly, this is some kind of practical joke.

Don: Do I look like I'm joking, Sierra Marie Weiss ? (holding the ring out)

Will you become my bride ?

Robin & Kenzi: (squealing) This is so romantic ! (Kenzi is recording the proposal)

O-M-G ! O-M-G ! I can't believe he is actually proposing ! So wizard !

Sierra: We've been through our highs and lows and you stuck through thick and thin with me.

Don: At first, honestly, I wanted to run. I didn't want to face my responsibility.

I thought, 'Oh, life is completely over.' But I didn't know that my life was just beginning. I met a new purpose through you.

Robin: Smooth...

Kenzi: Ain't it a bummer that he's an only child ?

Brandon: As far as we're concerned, you have our blessing...

Don: Seriously, Mr. Weiss ? I-I couldn't be more humbled...

Diedra: You have earned our daughter's hand.

Sierra: I, for one, agree with my folks. At first, I thought you were a slackard screw-up, but now I know differently and my heart couldn't feel any fuller than it does at the present. Donald Rutheford, I do accept your proposal !

(They kiss, very passionately and he gives her the wedding ring)

Don: (narrating) I must admit, half of what I said was ad-lib, but it all came from the matrix of my innermost being. I didn't know what this was going to come to, but the next part of my life hit me like a whirwind, never let me go, and I have never once regretted any of it or looked back !

Scene 5-Adulthood

(Graduation is shown in the form of a music video to 'Friends Forever' (which for musical trivialists out there includes symphonic lines from Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring as well as the main theme from that very piece) followed by 'Someone Who Needs Me' in the Rutheford wedding reception. Even the 'rejected' friends appear, though they weren't formally invited...)

Beth: This is the perfect day for an outdoor wedding. The skies couldn't be any clearer, and the weather couldn't be better !

Ethan: (dancing to Michael Buble's version of 'Sway' with Beth) Indubitably.

Where are the lady and man of the hour, by the way ?

Beth: I don't know, but who are those guys ? (pointing to the right where some well-dressed men who look a bit out of place and awkward)

Ethan: I don't know, but who cares ! I'm having way too much fun dancing with you. Look at Sierra's parents. Those two really know how to cut a rug !

Beth: No doubt ! (they chuckle and continue their jumping and jiving)

Frank: (while 'Mirrors' plays in the background and Sierra dances with Don, they walk up to him) Um...Don...

Don: (turning around) Oh, hey, Frank. Hi, guys. You decided to come too, even though you weren't invited. (a bit sarcastically) That's just magnificent.

Randy: It wouldn't be right if we didn't come to cheer you on.

Harold: We've...changed. I know it is hard to believe, but after we had some time to think...

Frank: We came to apologize.

Don: (exhales sharply) That was such a long time ago. But, you are forgiven.

Harold: Can you believe we're actually graduating ? The true slackers ?

Randy: Bull...We had to work off our ever-lovin' tuition payin' asses to get through our finals. Just like every other Uni student.

Frank: Aw, yeah. True dat, bro. Anyways, we have our diplomas ! We're going out into the great wild world of PC repair.

Randy: You're doing that...I'm designing video games.

Harold: Me, I'm into arcitecture and building regs. Saftey first, you know ?

Don: (narrating) It was the last thing I ever saw coming and the most unusual of all twists I never expected. Here were three guys I had written off as total losers coming to give me congradulations on everything. It was almost as fantastic as the wedding, but I knew the birth of Sierra and my baby would be even better.

Frank: ('Hey, Ho, Let's Go' playing in the background) They're playing my JAM !

Come on guys, shake a leg !

Harold: I came here to say my peace and have some delicious wedding cake...

Randy: And fudge, my heavenly cocoa Goddess...that is the most heavenly fudge...

Frank: (singing) If my friends don't dance, well if they don't dance then they ain't no friends of mine.

Harold: You're an idiot.

(They all dance anyway as does everyone else. The crowd begins )

Sierra: I'm happy to see you've made amends. My dogs are killing me though ! I can't hardly move in this blooming dress. I look like an obese sheep and feel like an overfed cow...

Don: Which you are neither of. Come, my princess...I will wisk you away...

(narrating) In a flash, I had been wisking both Sierra and Charlotte, our daughter, away, but I wouldn't have wanted it any different. I was a full-fledged adult. Yes, sometimes it could get a bit hectic, but I knew that new adventures awaited us at every curve. I couldn't have wanted anything more than this, and honestly, my life has only improved since little Charlotte arrived. She can be a handful, but we love her, and as long as I breathe air on this blue planet, I will be her father and her best friend whatever happens.

(As we see the years flash by, we see Don and Sierra becoming very successful and playing with Charlotte in the yard. His friends have become successful in their own way and visit on the weekends. Sierra's friends help babysit on their days off.

'Our House' plays in the background as Don's powerful, inspiring and somewhat poignant narration comes to a close and wraps up our cheerful little romantic tale with, an unappologetically happy ending !)

(The End. Roll credits. Dedications to my parents, friends, relatives, and other idols who have made my visions reality. Also, blooper reel for devoted fans that stick around long enough through the long-butt credits.)