I still remember the day she left me there to chase.
I can still see in my mind her shocked face and startled run as she looked at me much like an antelope would a suddenly-appearing lioness. I guess that metaphor is truer than any other rationalization I gave it over the years.
I remember her stumbling down the sidewalk as she turned and ran away from me, her steadily receding shadow as she fought her emotions… Emotions of disbelief I guess. Maybe of the pure unbridled fear that would have come to haunt her for all these years, maybe because of the savage glint my eyes took just moments before.
I still don't know.
But the fact that I revealed myself as a wolf in sheep's clothing didn't stop me from calling out to her in desperation; it didn't stop me from grasping at the hope of the friendship for the lion and the field mouse.
"Please!" I had cried out to her, beseeching her with all the hurt and uncertainty her reaction had caused me. "Don't make me do this on my own!"
She had paused a moment at that, though the action now pains me. It was a snapshot of the most painful moment for me. I saw her face turn with hurt and betrayal in her eyes and knew that I was far too gone. It burned into my mind the fact that in that moment where she turned to me and opened her mouth to speak she decided against it, closing her mouth before whispering a 'forgive me' that tore at my skin. It was a statement that would define my actions for decades after.
For that moment lasted far too short for me to even remember it with any sense of certainty, though the outcome was the same. She turned again and ran with purpose; her purpose to get away from this young woman and evade her for twenty years though I never knew the time would be so long then.
I would have probably cried much longer then if I had known, though I still did weep for what seemed like hours as I stared down at the parched earth below me. I cursed the world for seeming to have abandoned me by not granting even the most meager of showers to perhaps show some compassion for my loss. But no, the sun still shone in mockery of the pain inside me and as I sobbed on my knees I could barely choke out my second plea, though she was too far to possibly hear:
"Please Al'… Don't make me chase you all on my own…"