Wanna know what sucks?
I love writing,
But lately I can't write.
I have been so deep in my hole
That words can't come to me
They refuse to help me.

I need to find my peace
And I did that through my writing
But lately,
There are no words that
Comfort me.

I am too depressed
Too sad to write
Something meaningful
Something that doesn't suck.
And I hate myself for it.

I use to be able to write
Whenever
I could be happy,
As sad as I am now, or
Angry,
But I could
Always write something worth reading.

Not anymore.
I can't seem to find my words
My heart,
My soul.
It's gone
It's cold
It's black.

I don't feel love
Warmth,
I am just a f*cked up
Afterthought.
Always being treated like shit
Always being yelled at for helping
Because I am doing it wrong.

I am failing at school
I never use to.
I was always the over achiever
Although no matter how hard I tried
I would always have one B
In the one class I struggled in
Because of the learning disorder I know I have
But my mom doesn't believe I have.

She doesn't care that I am
Depressed, because to her
It is just a phase.
It is not a phase,
It is an illness.
But who am I to know about illness
And depression?

I am just a sixteen your old
In high school already going to
School for nursing classes and
Writing classes,
Because I want to help people.
Because I have an incurable
illness and I AM DEPRESSED

But that doesn't matter
Because all you seem to care about
is your dickhead boyfriend.

But who knows if
I will make it.
Who will care for me?
I will tell you who,
No one.
I have been alone
Since the beginning.
And you know what
It sucks.