Wall Job

You might think I'm a lazy bastard leaning against this here wall, but I'm actually working. What can you do? It's a dirty job, and I've picked to do such a filthy task. Thank God for the lever and pipes full of clean water. Well, allow me to take that back. The water in this city is far from clean. The cleaner had to tidy up the filter last week. All that uranium and copper made me throw up. This happens to be a new week, which means new challenges.

Oh wait, the lights are blinking on. It's just the cleaner. That's right, check me out my friend. Clean water at the bottom, no crystallized snot above my head, and no used condom under my chin. And he's out of here. I can expect to have the next hour to myself.

The door swings open. A visitor approaches me.

Hey buddy, how's it going? Aim toward the center so you want get any on your pants. That's it...Alright, flush me. Good job, good job. The guy must have had a lot of water and apple juice at breakfast. The water washed it down the pipes.

Another steps up.

How's the morning treating you, my friend? I'd watch the zipper and...wooo! Damn! I thought people took showers before coming to work. And what the hell is that crater on you? Go to a doctor or something? Oh Lord, the piss is strong. What the hell did you drink, bleached-swamp water. The way you're shaking, it looks like it hurts to come out. Oh man, it stinks. You're not going to flush me. Hey, come back here! And he walks out without washing his hands. Dammit, this stuff is irritating my filter. This is not cool. The cleaner told them! He told them to put a sensor and button on me. Now I have to wait until someone gets here to flush me.