A misplaced girl in the prime of her life, always taking the easy way out, looking for excuses not do to great things. Now, why would she do that? She had the opportunities that others wouldn't take for granted. Intelligence was a waste on her. She had the knowledge of nothing but petty things.
Maybe if she would've stopped feeling sorry for herself, she would have made it; she would have been something worth mentioning here, but when she lost herself, she lost the ability to believe in herself.
Relationships of any kind had been a struggle to maintain. At a certain point this girl stopped trying to make them work. I think, maybe partly because she had gotten into her head and that convoluted mind of hers that she didn't deserve any affection of the sort.
She liked it when people were looking down on her. When they judged. She felt comfortable knowing she didn't have to answer to anyone; that she couldn't possibly let anyone down, cause she didn't let anyone admire her. She was worthless. The kind of girl you would send a dirty look when seeing her on the street. You would never tell her, of course, but she was a whole new kind of trash.
She wasn't disgusting, nor was she the girl next door. She didn't blend in, but she didn't stand out either; and yet she was the kind of girl, of which her uncared hair and messy look would make you wonder. Of many things, I can imagine. What comes to my mind, however, is.. how did she end up there? On what occasion in her life did she stop being a blush cheeked, dress twirling little heartbreaker of a girl and became this twisted broad who hides from her own shadow? A little mouse, afraid of excitement.
I've been told she tends to fall asleep, sitting in the window with tears running from her red eyes. Mostly, I think people should mind their own business. Which, I suppose, would make me a hypocrite, counting the fact that I'm putting all of this down on paper.
Misery loves company, I've heard. But that's an entirely different matter. I'm writing this to keep the voices down. Keeping myself occupied.