N.B.: This is supposed to be a screenplay, but FP doesn't allow me to format it properly, so please forgive this breach of convention.

Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the movie :)


CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE BIRD KIND

FADE IN:

I./E. CHARLIE'S CAR – DAY

In the quiet streets of a small town, CHARLIE, a college student with very expressive eyebrows, is driving a little over the speed limit.

CHARLIE

(Speaking on the phone)

Tegan, I need your help. I think I might be in trouble.

TEGAN

(On speaker)

Where's the body?

CHARLIE

In my car.

ZOOM IN on the rear-view mirror where we can see the body of a chicken mascot lying in the back seat.

TEGAN

What? Dude, I was kidding!

CHARLIE

I wish I could say the same.

TEGAN

What the hell did you do, Charlie?

CHARLIE

I... kind of... overreacted?

TEGAN

"Kind of?" Oh, for the love of God, please tell me you didn't kill anyone?

CHARLIE

What? No! I would never— Are you out of your mind?

TEGAN

I should be the one asking you that question!

CHARLIE

Look, can I count on you or not?

TEGAN

(After a beat)

Alright, do you have a spare shovel?

INT. TEGAN'S APART. – 10 MIN. LATER

TEGAN, a tall girl in her early twenties, helps Charlie move the inert body of a young man dressed in a fluffy bright yellow chicken costume into her apartment. They lay him down on the couch and carefully put his mascot head on the coffee table.

TEGAN

Tea?

CHARLIE

Yes, please.

CLOSE-UP on the two friends sipping their tea while silently watching the mysterious stranger.

TEGAN

Okay, the suspense is killing me. What happened?

CHARLIE

I'm not even sure. I was on my way to my car when I felt like someone was following me. So I looked over my shoulder and saw this giant chicken hovering over me and I sort of freaked out.

TEGAN

Right, because mascots are ter-ry-fy-ing.

CHARLIE

Of course they are; they're fugly as hell. Anyway, when people face danger, they either have a fight or a flight response, right? Well, mine was to punch him in the face.

TEGAN

A little excessive, don't you think?

CHARLIE

Well, in hindsight, yeah. But at that moment, I thought he was going to attack me, so I reacted in self-defense. But then he kind of tripped over his own feet and hit his head on the curb.

TEGAN

Let's make this more exciting by letting you guess my next question.

CHARLIE

What kind of life tragedy forced him into mascoting? That I know not, sister, but my heart bleeds for him.

TEGAN

I had in mind something more along the lines of "Why didn't you call an ambulance or even the cops?"

CHARLIE

I checked his vital signs and whether he had broken his neck, but the guy is fine, his fat bird head absorbed most of the shock. He earned himself a little concussion though, but it'll heal in no time.

TEGAN

When did you find the time to study medicine in between your engineering classes?

CHARLIE

If his condition deteriorated, I figured you'd be able to deal with it since you're a nurse.

TEGAN

I haven't even graduated yet, you moron.

CHARLIE

Now, you're just being nitpicking.

TEGAN

I'm no lawyer, but I think he can totally press charges against you for assault and kidnapping when he wakes up, if he wakes up. And why did you bring him along in the first place?

CHARLIE

He was stalking me and I want to know why. Besides, I know the guy.

TEGAN

Yeah?

CHARLIE

I don't remember his name, but I recognize his face. He's in one of my classes.

TEGAN

So, what should we do with him?

CHARLIE

We interrogate him.


TO BE CONTINUED...