"Come on! Just go talk to her, man!" I thought to myself.
I was sitting in my desk in 2nd period Honors Freshman English staring straight ahead. Jaynie Stewart sat directly across the room from me. Iron clad in her baggy black jacket, she was reading a very thick book and biting her nails as her big blue eyes flew over the pages. She had straightened her blonde hair today, but to no avail because it was still curling at the ends. She was such a beautiful girl, and so intelligent, but she was deathly quiet most of the time. She rarely even spoke up in class. I really wanted to talk to her, but the only words I'd ever said to her were 'Uh-huh' after she thanked me for holding the door for her once. I barely even knew what her voice sounded like.
Yet, there was something special about this girl. The girl with braces that wears obscure hats had captured my interest, and I wasn't sure how. I had finally worked up the courage to talk to her and started to stand up from my chair, but at that moment, the bell rang and Mr. Wilson told us to find our seats. This had been the daily routine for 3 months now. Mr. Wilson was obviously plotting against me.
"Brendan," Someone whispered. "Did you do it?"
It was my dear friend Sarah, the girl who had always been there for me. She had heard many of my rants about Jaynie, and she was convinced I was in love with the girl. Which, by the way, I wouldn't go so far as to say since I'd never talked to her.
"No, and it's never going to happen. I mean, the school year's almost over, and then I might never see her again," I explained.
"She'll be here the next few years, just like the rest of us. I almost guarantee you. Anyway, how hard can it be to strike up a conversation with her? She seems really nice, honestly," She replied.
"There's something different about her. She seems interesting, but somehow…intimidating. Just, let's forget this for awhile. We'll talk about it later," I stated as I noticed Mr. Wilson glancing suspiciously in our direction.
"Fine," She said with a deep sigh.
I looked at the tan surface of my desk and zoned out a little as the teacher began talking about the upcoming assignment that I had already finished. All the while, I thought about Jaynie. "What's her favorite color? What's her favorite subject? What does she want to do after high school? Why does she own so many hats?" It was always the same questions, and I desperately wanted my answers, but I wasn't going to get them.
I decided to sneak a glance at her. Her eyes were floating every inch of the room, taking in all of its details. She would look at Mr. Wilson every so often so it looked like she was listening, but then she'd go back to her wandering. Finally her eyes rested on me, and the breath hitched in my throat as I quickly looked away. That one pair of blue eyes was as piercing as a knife, and they somehow terrified me. All they showed me was kindness and interest, but I just couldn't face them.
Mr. Wilson began the grammar practice on the board and I was briefly distracted from Jaynie. With proper sentence structure, I didn't have to really think, and it was a great relief. Nouns, verbs, punctuation and all of that saved me from the pestering questions flowing through my brain. When I finished though, I was screwed. I stole another glance at her. She was still working on it, her pencil soaring across the page of her notebook and the tip of her tongue sticking out in concentration. It was so adorable that I almost laughed, but I kept myself together.
Suddenly, my pocket vibrated. I looked to find it was a text message from my best friend, Max. He sat across the room, right next to Jaynie, and he was always trying to be my wingman, but it didn't really work.
"You still haven't talked to her, have you?" he asked.
"I can't do it, man," I said.
"Do I have to do it for you?" He questioned.
"No! You can't do that! Can't I just make a few more observations first?" I wondered.
"Fine. You have until Friday to at least say hi," He declared.
I agreed to it, though that only meant I had 4 days left of the week to complete my mission. I wasn't even sure what observation I would be making, but I would give myself the rest of the day and the next to do it, and use the rest of the week to say hi to her.
I tried to distract myself again, but this time by doodling in my notebook. I drew all sorts of random shapes and faces, but they just mocked me for being a huge wuss. I felt so stupid, considering I would probably just end up casually stalking her for the rest of the week, if I could find her. I shot a text to Sarah, telling her my dilemma.
"I know about where she sits at lunch," She stated. "Maybe that's how you could make your observations. Just walk past or pretend you're talking to someone else and watch what she does."
"Isn't that a little bit creepy?" I asked.
"You're the one who wanted to make observations," She pointed out.
"Fair point," I decided.
It was settled. Sarah would help me find Jaynie at lunch, and I could observe her for the next two days. This would be the turning point. She'd either be fantastic or horrible, and I was really hoping for the former. If Sarah was right, and I was in love with Jaynie, then the latter would be a huge disappointment. Though, I wasn't going to guarantee anything.