Is it bad that I remember the first girl? That I remember curly brunette hair and brown eyes that lit up my world when they turned to me. She liked to toy with

people. She liked to toy with me. She liked boys with their pretty smiles and and girls with long hair. She never even looked my way. But, then one day she did. I

didn't know how to respond to the letter she passed me in class. The generic one that asked if I "liked" her. I checked yes beyond my better judgement. Beyond

the reason I had, that died when those pretty brown eyes finally turned to look at me bacause I was in rapture. When she kissed me I knew who I was. Who I

am. I knew that I would never be right in the ideas of the modern world, or in the ideas of my parents. But when I held her hand, it seemed like the rest of the

world could just wait for a moment. But, when I learned she was cheating I didn't cry/ I breathed again for the first time and slowly untangled my common sense

out of her web. I had always known her game, I had been the one who wanted to play. I wanted the ability to love her until I burned my way through her

attention. So now I have to askif I was wrong to play?