SHATTERED

I do not know where to start, since a few words will not be enough. I feel so empty yet it weighs too much. I am like a bomb that, anytime soon, will suddenly break out. Inside me are the feelings that, in a long time, I had been trying to bottle up.

I wanted you to understand, but it seems too impossible. It is too deep to reach out. It is too deep to comprehend. Too deep that I, myself, would drown.

Disappointment. Frustration.
Pressure. Depression.
The agony of solitude. The feeling of being left out. And, as if, these weren't still enough, add a load of guilt everytime I remember to whom I am doing everything for.

Pathetic. I am so helpless.
Even how much I hate to admit, I'm like a damsel-in-distress.

Why is it too unfair?
Can it still get any worse?
How long will I able to handle everything?
How long until my mind will be totally corrupted?
I am a total mess, am I not?
Life is too cruel, isn't it?
It enjoys screwing up people, no?
Am I still making any sense?
Sonofagun! Why isn't there anyone answering me?!

Mental, emotional torture. Yeah, it is lethal. I am, little by little, dying inside. Just kill me now. I am damn too tired.