Love, is it really worth it?
Love is such a powerful emotion. It makes man blind, foolish, or even ruthless. Love makes you mad to the point that you can't eat or sleep properly without thinking of him or her. It's the microscopically thin line between crazy and insane; it can make you lose everything and gain the world at the same time. It makes you the happiest and yet, the most gigantic imbecile on earth; all because of love.
Admittedly, I have never been in love before. Aside from the love that I feel towards my family, friends, things that I treasure the most or even some celebrities that I greatly adore and idolize, I have never felt the need to have such strong emotion.
For me, love is just another heavy baggage to success, so why would I want that extra baggage? Why would I bother finding "the one", to put it crudely, when it would just hinder my progression and achievements in life?
I already have 101 things to worry about and I have no desire to add another one on the list, that's why love is the last thing on my mind. Besides, I'm still young, I just turned 14. I haven't even reached legal age yet, got my high school diploma, or even get into college. So to say, love, for me, is just another huge pain in the neck that I have no desire on ever acquiring.
But I know that someday, I'll have to search for my soul mate, but I'll just leave it to fate; so future husband/lover/whoever you are, surprise me! Sweep me off my feet!
…If you can.
Since I have non-existent experience on the subject love, I am quite nervous and little bit afraid on what my future would entail. I'm afraid to get hurt, experience, rejected or do imbecilic things for love. I'm afraid to love for the simplest reason that I refuse to wear my heart on my sleeve; that I have no wish to be humiliated. Humiliated in front of that certain person or to the people that I greatly value and love.
I may not look like it but I'm a very vain and prideful person; I have a huge ego and maybe, a tendency to become a bit of a megalomaniac, but that's another issue. I pay a lot of attention to my reputation; to what people think of me, even though most people's first impression of me is quite the opposite, that's why I refuse to be humiliated. I'm afraid of what people may think of me if ever I will be rejected, hurt or somewhere along those lines, but you get the picture.
I have seen a lot of scenarios wherein there's always a stupid person in a relationship. And that person usually the one who tries too hard, the one who tries to just understand everything; to turn a blind eye on every bad thing that has ever occurred because of love. To just ignore everything and confuse his or her feeling with the truth that everything is just one-sided; that it's just him or her that is actually in love with the other in that relationship.
Because there is a high probability that I would be that person; love is being stupid together and I refuse to be stupid! Childish reason, I know, but it's one of my quirks that I hate myself. I take relationships to seriously and I'm afraid that I'm the only one in the relationship that is loving the other, while the other doesn't feel anything at all, that, maybe, I'm just another fling.
Love makes you do stupid things and decisions without even thinking of the consequences that may or may not occur and I don't want another headache. I simply have no desire to humiliate myself in front of the person I will come to love (someday), my friends, and family and to other people, in general, by doing such ridiculous and imbecilic things.
My elders always tell me that when I grow up, I will learn to understand what love truly is and I try to believe them because they're older. They're wiser than me because of their experiences and problems that they have come across in their life.
Now I have a question to you, whoever you are, tell me, is love really worth it?