A/N: So I decided to do this chapter in Sisile's PoV. Why? because I really love how Sisile's mind thinks. A lot of how she thinks is based on my way of thinking. This might be bad for a story or whatever, but it's mine so I can do what I want. Don't like how it's going then skip it, and read something else. So here goes Sisle's chapter!
also name of chapter is from the song Welcome Home by Radical Face.
Disclaimer: If you don't already know I created this with my own characters and thus have all ownership over this piece of fiction. You use, I hurt you. understand? good.
Chapter four: Welcome Home
Awaking from the horrible nightmare I had a few hours prior; I rub my eyes, and stretch my arms. Looking down I see Sin peacefully sleeping and drooling all over my pillow. I smiled at the sight. Carefully, without waking sleeping beauty, I crawl over her and roll off the bed all ninja like. Landing with a soft thud, I make my way over to my dresser. Pulling out a large, oversized t-shirt and a pair of baggy jeans; I exit the room and head to the bathroom.
Once the door was closed and locked did I start taking my clothes off. A full length mirror was on the back of the door. I hate this mirror and so does Shane. Neither one of us likes our bodies, we hide them from society. Shane hides his because he hates how obscenely thin he is, not because it's scarred and burned like mine is. From my chest down are deep scars that'll never heal all the way. Burn marks littered my back from where my dad would push me down and snuff out his cigarettes. Those hurt worse than the cuts and bruises he gave me.
When I touched the scar on my neck I swore it was happening again. I felt him dig the blade into the vein on my neck, him dragging the tip inches deep, only pulling the blade out when it hit the tip of my collar bone. That's when he stabbed me in the chest, only missing my heart by centimeters. At that moment I knew I wouldn't survive. I lost hope on surviving in those few moments. I prayed to whatever deity there was to just let me die then and there. To take the soul out of me.
Instead of dying, I live. I'm relieved, and yet I still wished I would've died. If I died Sin wouldn't have been thrown out, or Shane wouldn't have to take care of me, and I wouldn't have to see the stares my family members give me. I wish mom was still alive.
Slipping the over-sized shirt over my head, and sliding the jeans over my slim legs, I head back to my room. Sin was still asleep, and so I decide to smoke a few cigarettes before she wakes up. I pushed out one of the windows on my window seat, and sat on the cushion. Carefully I pull out one cigarette and light it. Blowing out the smoke in a weird way, I laugh quietly to myself. Glancing over I could tell that Sin was gonna wake up soon.
I can't believe I've only known her for about a week now. She is possibly the only person in my life I could trust. I like her, I do, ever since I first asked her where to go. I knew that when I saw her I wanted her in my life. She was a wreck. Her bright hair was in disarray and her swollen eye made me angry, and I swore when I found out who did it to her, I would hurt them. Later, I found out her mother did it. She didn't mean to tell me, but I asked her when she was almost asleep. Sin speaks only the truth when she's tired, and it's a little weird but handy. Well she blabbed about it and then went off into snooze land.
Okay I'm tired of waiting for her to wake up. Getting up and walking out into the hallway, I hear laughter. I narrow my eyes, there's never laughter in this place. Slowly descending to the living room, I find a room full of people I barely know. They're all Sin's friends plus Angel.
They turn to look at me when I enter the room. I glare at most of them and head to the kitchen. I am not a morning person, or an afternoon one. Loud noise when I first wake up is a bad sign for a bad day.
Shane's in the kitchen eating out of the cereal box. Motherfucker's eatin' my lucky charms. Not in my book he isn't. Snatching my, MY, lucky charms away from the cereal stealer, I make myself a bowl out of the last of it. Silently taunting him as I do so.
"You're an ass."
I deadpan. He thinks I'm an ass? What a dick.
"You're the one eatin' my lucky charms, bitch." I spit back. "Don't touch my lucky charms." Throwing the cereal box away, I grab my bowl and a spoon and exit the kitchen. Heading out into the hell hole again.
"Guys you might want to stop talking so loudly. Sisile's gettin' mad." Someone says. I think Abby. I don't know, I have a headache. I sit on the couch and eat my cereal while watching Tom and Jerry. Everyone else is quiet now and I can't be more happy. That is till Sin walks in. Now I'm even happier. I smile at her as she stumbles into the room, immediately taking a seat next to me. She lays her head on my shoulder and whispers, "Why weren't you in bed?"
Whispering back, "Got hungry." To emphasize I show her my cereal.
"Can I have a bite?"
I nod and get her a good spoonful and feed her, everyones watching now.
"Oh sure you can share with Sin but not me? You asshole." Shane says from somewhere. I'm more focused on Sins lips than anything. While everyone was looking at Shane as he rants about not getting his damn Lucky Charms fix, I duck my head in and kiss Sin. Pecking her softly on the lips before eating another bite of cereal. This doesn't go unnoticed but what do I care, this girl is an addiction.
Giving her another bite, she and I finish the bowl together and both go to the kitchen. Only once the breakable object was in safe distance, does Sin capture my lips in a searing kiss. Kissing back with the same enthusiasm, and even deepening the kiss further. Her hands make their way down my side, and over my curves. Reaching back both of her hands grip my ass, and with one heave, I'm now on the counter. My hands find their way into her hair, entangling them and loving the softness.
Her hands are now on my hips, keeping me steady and making sure I don't fall off. She's kissing a trail down my neck reaching the edge of my shirt. Retracing the kisses, she stops her lips a centimeter away from my own. All I would have to do is lean in. Except I don't. We're both panting, and waiting for our breath to come back.
Someone clears their throat. Looking over Sin's shoulder I see Cas, and some weird dude beside him. "Sin we have company." She sighs then helps me off the counter. Intertwining our hands. Instead of following Cas and his friend out into the living room, Sin makes herself some waffles.
Putting them on a plate and heading out into the living room did she notice everyone.
"Why are you guys here?" She asks. Taking a bite out of her waffle.
"To see you of course. Sin you haven't been to school for three days now, we got worried." Sarah says from her corner of the room. She's huddled up against Angel, and Angel's petting her hair. Angel's also giving me a weird look. I stare back at her. After a moment she switches her attention to Justin, the two were talking animatedly about something.
"Suuure. Okay..." Sin sits down in front of the tv and I follow suit. Sin you could be a little nicer to your friends. At least you have friends, they didn't come here for me, but for you. I don't have friends, I've never had friends. Sin you're the first person who's ever seen me as me. I can't be around all these people I need to get away. I'm sorry Sin.
"I'm going to my room." I say suddenly. Getting up and practically running to my room. I don't even hear Sin and Shane hollering for me. I close the door as fast as I can and lock it. I rush over to my window seat and open the windows all the way and step out onto the adjoining balcony. I sink down against the metal bars and fumble getting my cigarettes out of my pocket. There's knocking on my door and someone is saying something but I can't hear it. All I'm focused on at the moment is getting this cigarette lit.
'I forgot to take my medicine.' That's why I'm acting like this. Damnit, my medication is in the bathroom down the hall and right now I don't want to go out there. I guess I'm just gonna stay out here for a while.
I'm out there on the balcony for hours it feels like.
Fuck I bet Sins worried. I don't care. Yes I do. I care too much. Dammit.
How many cigarettes have I smoked so far? Looking in my Marlboro blacks box I see I only have three cigarettes left out of twenty. I've smoked more than seven cigarettes since I locked myself in my room. It could be more. I've smoked almost two packs in one day before.
"Sisile, are you okay?" The voice is muffled by the closed door. It sounds like Sin. I hesitantly get up from my sitting position and walk to the door. Unlocking it, and stepping back. The door pushes open and I see Shane come in first then Sin.
Sin hugs me as soon as she's in the room. She's muttering something about being worried, and some other crap.
"What time is it?" Is the first thing I say.
"It's five o'clock." Shane says
"Sin, can you tell everyone to leave and stay out there for a bit? I want to talk to Sisile for a bit."
She leaves but not before pulling me into another hug. I don't hug back and as she left her face was all kinds of hurt. My heart strings thronged a little at that face, but I'm too damn depressed to care at the moment.
As soon as she left, Shane gave me the most stern glare I've ever seen. I tried to look away from it but I couldn't. I backed up until I hit the bed from there I fell backwards onto it and sat up.
"Sisile Rose Black, what the fuck were you thinking when you ran out like that?"
"Do you want the truth or the sugar coated one?"
"The fucking truth."
"I ran out like that because I can't stand not having friends like Sin does!" I answer honestly. It's the truth I couldn't stand it, those people weren't here to see me but her.
"You have to be an idiot to think that, Si."
"Well I guess I'm a fucking idiot then! Because that's exactly what I was thinking!" I scream.
Shane smacks me, and it progresses from there. I tackle him into the door busting it off the hinges. We're both throwing punches left and right. This wouldn't be the first time Shane and I have gotten into a fight.
I'm pissed off right now, and Shane's just fueling the anger as we keep hitting each other. Crashing into the hallway I throw Shane into the wall knocking over some things that were hanging there. Lunging for him again I manage to get him in the left eye, his good eye.
"Son of a bitch!" He yells. Holding his eye for a second then taking a cheap shot at my stomach. Just as his fist hits my stomach I knee him in the chin.
"Bitch!" he yells.
"Asshole!" I scream back.
He gets up and slams me against the wall and I hear a picture frame hit the ground. The breaking of the glass is deafening. We both stop fighting right then and there.
Shane's hands are around my neck and mine are around his. I look down through our arms and with wide eyes I realize what picture we just broke. Easing my hands from around his neck then his around mine; I crouch down and pick the frame up.
Sliding down against the wall, sitting in the broken glass; I start sobbing.
Shane is sitting opposite of me. His face in the palm of his hands. He looks like he's crying too. His shoulders are moving up and down, but he's not making a sound. I am though. I can't stop the loud sobs ripping from my throat.
I stare down at the picture with tears running down my face. It's the first picture we took when I came to live with them; we took this right after we got out of court. The custody battle was terrible and I don't ever want to go through that again. Shane and Kris both fought hard for me and this is what I repay them with.
The picture features the three of us; I'm in front of the two, Shane's hugging me and Kris has his arm around my shoulder. We were all smiling; the only thing that set this picture off was how prominent the scar was. You could clearly see it even though it was hidden by a scarf.
I was too absorbed by the picture to notice someone's picking me up bridal style and carrying me somewhere. With the picture still in my hands I swing my arms around whoever is carrying me. Hanging onto them like a baby koala to its mother.
I suck up the courage to see who's carrying me. It's Kris. Kris! I try to say something but I can't seem to get my voice to work.
Hiding my face into his neck I hang onto him as he carries me to wherever. I lookup for a second when we stop, this is their room. I'm being laid down onto the bed and I instantly curl into the covers, Kris gets in next to me after removing his shoes.
He puts his arm around my waist and I instinctively curl into him. My head is under his chin, and my legs right up against his. I'm still crying like a bitch but I'm starting to calm down.
A few more moments pass and my crying has subsided.
The first thing I say is I'm sorry.
"It's alright. Shane already told me you forgot to take your medicine." Fuck you Shane.
I nod my head and curl into him even more. I let out a weak okay before drifting off to sleep. There's something about sleeping in the same bed as Kris that just gets you fast asleep.
I slept for what felt like hours. Which it was when I looked over at the alarm clock on the dresser. I feel safe right now. There's an arm around me and I know right off the bat it's not Kris', because his are big and full of muscle. No these are slim and feminine.
I turn over and I almost let out a squeak. Sins laying next to me with her facing toward me and her eyes are partly open, as if she just woke up. Judging by the time on the clock she probably did.
We stare at each other for a few moments, her eyes getting progressively wider as time goes by. She's waking up by the minute. When she's more half awake then half asleep she kisses me. It's not rough like yesterday, but it does hold emotion to it.
"I'm sorry," I say meekly.
"It's alright." Her voice is still full of sleep and I can tell she was smoking earlier/yesterday, because her breath reeks of smoke.
"Did you smoke yesterday?"
She nods her head and buries herself into my shoulder.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because I was stressed, and worried about you. Only way I know how to get calm," she says into my shoulder.
She was worried about me? Why? I know she heard what we said. I pretty much just admitted I don't like her friends, well no that's not true. I just felt like I didn't belong.
"I'm alright. No reason to worry."
"There's every reason to worry about you. They are your friends too..."
"No they're not. They came to see you not me."
"After you left they realized what they said. They were worried about you too, Sisile. Everyone was. You just dashed off to your room for no reason and even locked the door. Shane and I were outside your room the entire time. I heard you crying Si."
I tense up when she uses that nickname. No...no don't use that name. Only Shane can call me that.
"Don't call me that." She looks taken aback. I can't look at her right now.
"Okay I won't call you that. Just Sisile from now on. Okay?" She's too understanding. I wonder what she's thinking right now.
"Well I'm thinking about kissing you; to be honest."
I blush thirty shades of red and hide under the covers. Oh my god she's serious.
She pulls the covers up and ducks her head under and kisses me. It's just a peck but then it turns to actual kissing, and now were making out.
A moment or two passes by and I lean back away from her.
"You're so embarrassing." I say. Hiding my face into her neck. Sin lifts my face up to look at her and she kisses me. Her arm instantly curls around me, and I push in closer. Breaking apart we smile at each other, and I know everything's gonna be alright. Curling back into each other talking quietly about anything and everything we drift soundlessly asleep. Both of us had smiles, and a relaxed face.
'Everything's gonna be alright. Hopefully.' That was my last thought as I fell asleep. Curled up in Sin's arms and not caring about what's going on around us in those moments. Focusing on just the two of us.