Everybody knows the quote.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay it's not the end.
It doesn't make getting there any easier.
I was so excited. High school was like my new start. Middle school fucking sucked and I was looking for a new beginning. But as the first day got closer and closer my excitement developed into a new feeling. What if it wasn't different than middle school? What if nobody would talk to me? What if I got totally lost? Questions were running through my head and by the time I woke up the first day, I would give anything to go back to 8th grade.
As I walked in the school that day the place seemed so much bigger than it did the past times I'd been here. I immediately realized that I am the picture perfect image of a scared shitless freshman. Thankfully I know my way to one place like I know my own house. I started walking the familiar path down the hallway that lead to the band room. After spending a huge part of my summer with them, I was pretty comfortable around a few of them. I know that there will be at least someone I know there.
It was too good to be true though. I have always been a really jumpy girl. So easily startled. Before I could even get to my 'safe haven' I was caught off guard, and the school day hadn't even technically started yet.
"Holy shit you look so scared right now."
I turned around so fast I nearly fell. The voice came out of nowhere; I didn't even see the owner of the voice walk up to me. I recognized him; I can't put a name to his face though. I'd seen him a lot during band over the summer, he talks to Lizzie and so do I. He's about my height, maybe a little shorter. He's definitely older than me, but whether he's a sophomore or a junior I don't know.
As all this was running through my head, I forgot he was still standing in front of me and I hadn't said anything to him.
"Umm, y-yeah. Just a little I guess" I stuttered out. Shit what's wrong with me, I haven't stuttered in years. Now of all times it decides to come back.
He started to laugh, "Just calm down, high school isn't that scary," as he said this he started walking with my down to the band room.
As I walked around the corner I saw Ashley talking to Lizzie. Perfect. This is better, I'm good around them. It's always easier to be less awkward in bigger groups of people. I walked towards them immediately and noticed that the guy was going in the same direction. That's good, maybe Lizzie or Ashley will say his name. I feel bad for not knowing it when he seems to know me, though I don't know how.
Now to say I have no idea who he is would be a lie. I know he's with Lizzie, and by with I mean having sex with. I might be a little naïve still, but I can figure that much out. I also noticed that my brother, Logan, talks to him, but I saw him see me walking with this mystery guy. And to say he looked unhappy would be an understatement. But high school's the time to make mistakes and I might as well start making them. I just don't know if this guy is the best choice.
Shit I need to stop zoning out. By now we were standing in front of Lizzie and Ashley and I think one of them just said something to me.
"Nicole? Hello? Are you okay?" I jumped at the sound. The three of them started laughing at my reaction so I played it off and laughed along.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry I'm just tired, you know?" I finally got out. I really needed to work on my awkwardness. I definitely isn't gonna work in my favor these next four years. You're supposed to get out of your awkward stage in high school, not live in it.
Without warning mystery guy put his arm around me and shook my shoulders. I nearly lost my balance I jumped so much.
"Damn are you always this jumpy?" mystery guy laughed.
Right at that moment another guy walked up to our little group. Dammit another person who's name I don't know. I really need to work on that.
"Come on Jake; don't freak her out too much. She looks nervous enough. At least let her make it through her first day without passing out."
I laughed at that, it was kinda funny how obviously scared shitless I am. We all laughed at that and Logan chose that moment to walk over. Obviously not happy with the number of guys I was sorta talking to (or possibly the specific guys I was talking to).
"Hey Vince, hey Jake. I see you've met my sister Nicole." The obvious emphasis he put on the word was missed by none of us. If anything it just made Jake smile even more.
"Yeah I have. And she's pretty cool, a little jumpy though." He smiled as he said that, like it was some joke.
"Yeah she is, probably because you have your arm around her."
"Oh really I do? I hadn't noticed."
"Okay fine, calm down Logan." He withdrew is arm at that, but still stood close.
For some reason it didn't really bother me. It wasn't like I was having a crush on him, I just didn't mind it. Unlike most girls I wasn't in dying need of a boyfriend. It all sounds like too much work for me. And like I said, high school is time to make mistakes. But like most high school girls, I'm okay with making mistakes with guys. In all the movies the slutty girls get all the guys and have all the fun. Guys and fun sounds good to me, no matter what other people think.
So if I stayed standing close to Jake, sue me. And if for the rest of the year I talk to him every once in a while, I'm just being nice. High school is the time for new beginnings, and I'm done being the old me.