Dear diary, 17/11/2009

I left today. It's been 12 long years, 12 years for an idea that was but my own. At first, taking credit for someone else's idea seemed immoral, but after all the years, I almost feel as though it was my own. I always thought that I would screw it up… that I would just slip up and somebody would find out. But I made it. When I made it to the decade, I started to count down the years… I knew that eventually my boss would come to the realisation that I was beginning to loose my usefulness.

I'm not really sure you call what I had a "farewell", that doesn't really seem to apply unless someone is going to miss you… Or even notice your absence. In this business, everyone works toward their own goals and their wellbeing; it's not until a goldmine like mine comes along that there is any acknowledgment that they work towards a common goal.

But we all know how they are; all those businessmen and women… Out for the money and nothing else. I suppose you get the odd selfless one who creates something that will do something for the greater good, but they are few and far between.

That's why I left. I'm through with working for dirty money day in and day out. But looking back, there are some things that I'll miss; after 12 years it begins to grow on you I guess… I'll miss how easy it was start work of a morning, the "complimentary" cup of coffee on my desk every morning, that mark on my desk that I never really figured out…

I guess I kinda did get a farewell… but not in as many words. There were no "goodbyes", but they never did say a word.


Dear Diary, 25/07/1997

I never actually expected it to work. I mean, I wanted it to, but I somehow talked myself out of any expectation so that when I got the call from Brian last week I really didn't know what to say… But I talked my way out of it. From what I have read in the diary, I could basically answer of all of his question; anything I couldn't answer very well I hope he just chalks up to my astonishment. I started this morning- well sort of… I guess you could call it more of an orientation? They put me in an office by the door and left me to "settle in".

I'm not really sure what they were expecting me to do, a way to make me feel welcomed without actually doing any welcoming? But I guess new arrivals wouldn't be all that common… would they? Maybe I'm wrong, but I always imagined that in business that people stayed until they had completely exhausted their usefulness… but maybe that's just in the movies, I mean, all the employees here seemed to be young…

It was inevitable; they came for me in the afternoon. Asking questions- forever looking for a loophole in whatever was a sure-fire success. Maybe it's self preservation, but personally I find interrogations rude. And I said just that. Maybe with brilliant ideas comes a sort of obligatory authority, but left right then.