"This place is beginning to smell like a sleazy bar!" Lt. Susan Aspen noted with reserved anger.
"Well, if you don't like it then why don't you go outside?" Lt. Allison Chambers replied, as she gulped down the pint of whiskey she had secretly stored in the top drawer of a supply cabinet.
"Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you?" Aspen responded, as Chambers threw the now empty bottle across the room towards the trash receptacle and missed. The bottle immediately broke into a thousand pieces.
"Hey, I'm not cleaning that up!" Aspen stated.
"Don't worry about it, Susie," Chambers sarcastically replied, "I'll clean it up. You just keep working on trying to contact central command. God knows they're so anxiously awaiting for us to report in."
Aspen sat at a control console and continued to furiously text through the classified communications link to central air defense command in Wyoming, getting no response.
"Answer me one more time," Chambers amusingly asked, "just what the hell are you doing?!"
"I'm following protocol," Aspen irritatingly came back with.
"And again," Chambers continued, "what the hell for?!"
"Because Chambers," Aspen explained, "we may be able to contact someone at command or maybe another silo site."
Chambers laughed out loud, "Contact someone?! Who?! There ain't no one left to contact! This is all a joke! If anyone has survived above ground, they've split long ago! Hell, they're probably all settled down by now in their underground condos on some remote tropical island drinking and partying! Laughing their asses off about all the idiots left stuck in the silos. Two of those idiots, of course, being you and me!"
"Command wouldn't leave their posts," Aspen confidently stated, "they wouldn't deviate from their orders."
Chambers chuckled, "I've got news for you girl, there ain't no more command!"
"You don't know that!" Aspen defensively retorted.
"Just think, you stupid bitch!" Chambers scolded, as she now popped open a beer also from the cabinet and chugged it down, then tossed the empty can at the trash receptacle and missed once again, "there's nothing left for command to command!"
"That's nonsense!" Aspen nervously reacted, "You've read the statistics they provided us in training. Fifty-four percent chance for survival, even taking into account the rad levels which, by the way, have been dropping off significantly the past two months just like they predicted. If it keeps going down at this rate, a rescue vehicle will definitely be arriving to pick us up in about a month."
"Another bunch of bullshit are those statistics you've just cited," Chambers began, "of course they're gonna manipulate the numbers to make you think you have a chance. Well girlfriend, you don't stand a chance. I don't stand a chance. We were all just useful idiots to them; ignorant bitches to do their bidding and blindly follow the command codes, turn the keys in unison, then launch the fireworks to help bring the whole fucking world to a close!"
"Well, I guess I still believe in my country and will continue to follow the protocol," Aspen stoically replied, "and may I remind you we are still Air Force officers."
"Bravo! Bravo! Lieutenant Aspen!" Chambers smirked, clapping her hands together; the sounds echoing off the control room's steel and concrete re-enforced walls, "a great patriotic speech. Problem is there's no longer an Air Force. Or an Army, a Marines, or even a Coast Guard for that matter. Maybe there are still some pathetic souls from the Navy wandering around aimlessly in their claustrophobic subs, a thousand fathoms below the surface of the sea. At least the bitches on board there can still get laid, whether they want to or not. Besides, I've been upstairs and there ain't even much of the great state of Montana left."
"You've been upstairs?" Aspen suspiciously asked, "When?"
"A week ago," Chambers answered, "while you were zonked out on your cot. I unlocked the exit chamber, climbed up the ladder, popped open the hatch to take a little look-see. It wasn't very pretty, let me tell you."
"Chambers!" Aspen sternly said, "you'd better be fucking with me because if you did what you just said you did, then you've just killed us both!"
"Aw for Christ's sake, Sue," Chambers irritatingly reacted, "relax and go get yourself a beer or something."
Aspen suddenly bolted out of the room and headed to a storage closet.
"Where you goin'?" Chambers called out.
Aspen quickly returned with a 9MM S&W military issue and aimed it straight at Chambers.
"Whoa!" Chambers quickly stated, "you better be planning on just cleaning that weapon, Lieutenant!"
"You skank," Aspen started, as she held the gun steady, "you've exposed us both to the radiation. We're definitely going to die now!"
"Relax, sweetie," Chambers soothingly said, "as I told you, all that happened over a week ago. Don't you think at least we'd been sick by now?"
"Depends upon the length of exposure," Aspen replied.
"Well, I was up there for over an hour," Chambers noted, "so Susie just put the gun down and go back to trying to contact command, okay? I'm not in the mood for anymore of your nonsense."
Chambers started to head into the bunk room but Aspen quickly stepped in front of her and held the gun to Chamber's forehead.
"Aspen, for God's sake," Chambers said, "lower your weapon or so help me."
"So help you what?" Aspen replied with a smile bordering on the psychotic.
"This!" Chambers answered, as she quickly snatched the gun away form Aspen's hand and knocked her to the floor, then immediately placed the gun directly under Aspen's chin.
"Susan," Chambers began, "I stand corrected. Maybe you have been exposed to some radiation. That's the only rational explanation I can come up with for why you're acting so squirrelly! So since you like to follow protocol, I'm now going to enable Protocol Four. You know about Protocol Four, don't you baby?"
Aspen nervously nodded, as Chambers cocked back the gun's slide.
"Allison?" Aspen anxiously said, "before you do anything, will you promise me one thing."
Chambers smiled her own psychotic smile, "And what is that?"
"Clean this place up afterwards. If they do come for us, I don't want a demerit in my personnel file."
Chambers then pulled the trigger, splattering Aspen's brains all over the ceiling.
"Yeah," Chambers replied, "I can do that for you, honey."