Rent a Pie

Here at Rent a Pie, we rent out nothing but the best recycled pies in town. How do we do it? Well, first you come in and rent one of our pies, manufactured in one of our prestigious, state of the art factories. Then, when you're done with it, we take your leftovers and give you back thirty percent of your purchase price. We then take the leftovers, sanitize them, grind them up, combine them with a special combination of lard and sucrose—that's sugar for those kiddies at home—and pipe them into premade, store-bought pie crusts. We then in turn rent these new pies out to new customers and the process begins all over again. We are a non-profit organization and all funds earned go directly into buying more premade, store-bought pie crusts sugar and lard.

How did it all start? Well, it all started with one pie, of course. You see, way back in the day, three weeks ago, a man name Mister Doctor Professor used his last dollar to buy a pie. The pie was really good, but he couldn't eat it all. It was then that he took some lard and sugar from his cupboard, blended it together with the pie, and piped it into a leftover pie shell that he had after losing yet another pie baking contest. It is believed that the pie that he bought and could not entirely eat came from his competitor, who won the contest.

Anyway, he took that newly recycled pie—the first of its kind—and sold it to the first sucker…I mean customer he could find. When the man became enraged by the pies disgustingness and demanded his money back, the two men broke out into a slap fight, which ended with the man conceding to a thirty percent refund along with returning the pie. Mister Doctor Professor then took that money, bought more supplies and began the Rent a Pie business. And the rest is history.