Dan Anchor: Good evening, viewers. Tonight KBLAH has exclusive coverage of the most stupendous news event of all time. One that could produce cataclysmic shock waves ending the world as we know it!
Right after these important messages from our sponsors and revealing pictures of an alcoholic former child star's latest arrest for publicly flashing her crotch to protest laws against crotch-flashing in public.
Dan Anchor: Welcome back. I hope you enjoyed the teaser fluff we use to keep you watching. And be sure to buy our advertisers' stuff so they can continue paying Big Bucks to us actors playing journalists. Much more than we could get at other jobs. If we could get other jobs.
Now to the really big-big-big story I promised. Today North Korea's Beloved Leader Kim Jong-un landed in California with a large army. In keeping with KBLAH'stradition of staying on top of the news to keep our ratings on top, our hottie news chick Cherry Pye is at the scene to interview the jovial invader. Take it, Cherry.
But first I must say that your world-famous cleavage is looking super-hot today.
Cherry: Thanks, Dan. I have to keep them up for the re-negotiation of my contract next week. Now let's get the straight scoop from Beloved Leader Kim, if all of him can fit into the camera frame. BLK, let me say what a thrill it is to meet you and welcome you to our country. I hope you'll enjoy your visit.
BLK: Gratitude for your kindness, Gracious Lady. Already I am enjoying two of your nation's outstanding attractions, since that is as high as I can see on you.
Cherry: Flattery means nothing to me. (giggle) It means everything to me! Now, down to business. Would you mind telling us why you and all of these heavily-armed men are on our western shore?
BLK: With utmost pleasure. We are going to take over your government.
Cherry: Wow! What a blockbuster! Remember, folks, you heard it here first. But, BLK, don't you think that might be considered a hostile act?
BLK: Not at all. Have not you people often said that you need aliens crossing your borders because there are some jobs Americans won't do? Well, since none of your politicians are doing their jobs…