Sibling Equality or Inequality?

Hello. My name is Delight. I have lived in this world for twenty years and counting. I'm the oldest of four children. I am lucky to have lived a life of privilege but sometimes I can not help but wonder why I am like this. I feel envious of my younger siblings.

When I was younger, I was not allowed to go birthday parties of my classmates. My mother was adamant that I should not be let go while my father seconded my mother's opinion. I grew up to slightly resent my parents for what they put me through in school while my younger siblings had the easy life. Apparently, how your classmates perceive you in elementary school (as in they want to be your friend or not) depends on how many birthday parties you have attended. As I was the new kid in the block, the birthday party invites which were numerous in the beginning soon began to dwindle to a single number in about six months. I was only about nine or ten then.

After a while, I began to notice differences in how my parents taught me and how they taught my second sibling. I was about average in school while she was a genius. I had friends that I could count on a single hand and she had a whole group to choose from. I did really try not to be jealous of her but my insecurity crept in anyways and destroyed my self esteem and my confidence. In no way, do I hold her responsible or my parents responsible.

When I was in eight grade and my sister was in sixth grade, I did not have a mobile phone. Everyone in my class had one while I had to use a credit card like device to call from the toll booth. One day, I planned to ask my father if I could have a mobile phone. He refused then and there. I asked why and he said, 'you're marks are not good enough.'

When my sister asked, it was like the light shone down. My father immediately accepted and granted her her request. I do not even think he barely gave me a glance as I watched in shocked horror as I was so gracefully rejected.