Falling Apart
Chapter ONE
by: Walk like a zombie

I started this story for campnanowrimo last month, it's still a bit all over the place and in rough draft mode but I would love some feedback. This chapter is really short, mainly because I'm not sure if this is a good start for the story. Let me know what you think.

I let myself out of the house quietly, and instantly cursed the cold weather. It was only May and I knew that getting up at five am to go running was only going to get harder from here on out. I resisted the urge to speed up into a jog to warm myself up. Instead starting at a steady, fast walk as a warm up so I wouldn't pull any muscles. I loved the tranquillity of these predawn hours, the sense of camaraderie I had with other people crazy enough to be up at this hour. Once I made it to the park near my house I sped up to a fast jog, as my feet found the familiar running path I let my mind slip away. Running was an excellent escape, it made me forget the enormity of my university studies, my everyday worries that I wouldn't cut it as a doctor or that I wouldn't be able to transfer into the nation's top med school next year. I let assignments slide to the back of my mind, along with work and volunteer placements. It made me forget that I was a twenty year old girl who may have bitten off more then she could chew. For the next half hour while I was running I was the confident girl who had no worries.

No worries except an unnerving awareness of my sisters boyfriend. I groaned to myself at the very thought of Adam. I couldn't figure out if he knew what he was doing to me or if I was some type of hyper aware freak with a sudden ability to blow the simplest things out of proportion.

Adam had been dating my sister for about five months and recently he had been spending a lot of time at our house. This was new, this was crazy, it had always been mutually decided by Sarah and her previous boyfriends that they would spend as much time away from her crazy family as possible. Adam is always at our house, and I think my dad actually likes him, this is a huge, monstrous fucking deal because my father gives all new boyfriends the third degree, the type of interrogation you only see in movies, the kind you didn't think happened in real life.

My problem of course was that along with the slick ability to charm my overprotective father Adam was gorgeous. He had the type of muscles my hands just itched to trace, beautiful tanned skin that spoke of a life spent outdoors being active. Thick, short cropped black hair that I found myself wishing he would grow out because it looked so soft and I wanted to know what it would feel like to run my hands through it. This was my problem, I shouldn't want to trace his muscles or run my hands through his hair. I shouldn't be staring at him like a lovesick teenager with her first crush whenever we were in the same room. Sometimes I would feel his eyes on me and that made things worse, he would watch me lazily, eyes dragging from the tips of my toes to the top of my head, mapping every curve of my body through my clothes. I felt his stare like a physical caress at the most inappropriate times. I had been checked out by guys before, it was pretty much in a mans second nature to check girls out, but I had never reacted to a heavy stare the way I did with Adam. And I knew that I was blowing things out of proportion, that he really liked my sister and was just trying to get along with her family. I just couldn't get my body in tune with that idea. In response to my conflicting feelings I turned a cold shoulder to Adam, tried to be in the same room with him as little as possible, gave him one or two word replies whenever he tried to strike up conversation. While Sarah took my cold attitude with a disapproving glare and a constant string of 'Tori stop being a bitch' whenever we were alone, Adam just shrugged off my hostility with an open smile and heavy look in his eyes. Like he knew I was overcompensating for my attraction to him.

I groaned again, swiping my arm across my forehead. Why the hell couldn't I get him out of my head? Maybe I just needed to find myself a boyfriend, I hadn't made it past a second date with a guy since high school. I tried to think back to the last time I'd even had a first date. Okay this was embarrassing, if you couldn't remember your last date then it had been way too long.

I let myself back into my house, I had gone running to get away from my problems and managed to spend the entire time thinking about my sisters boyfriend. 'Great progress brain' I thought to myself sarcastically. I set about making a jug of coffee and did some stretches in the kitchen while I waited for the water to boil.

I had my legs spread wide, knees locked as I bent down to touch the toes of my left foot, I felt the delicious stretch in my hamstring as I held the stretch. A rapidly indrawn breath behind me had me turning my head. Adam stood in the doorway behind me, leaning against the door frame his eyes were heavy lidded and dark as he checked me out. I jumped up straight and turned around, I could feel my cheeks flaming and hoped it could be passed off because I had been bending over.

"Morning." His raspy just woke up voice almost made me shudder, I nodded in return to his greeting and moved across the kitchen to finish making the coffee. My brain seemed to be stuck on the lustful look on his face as he watched me stretch. I fixed my coffee and moved away from the machine and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl, I sat down at the table trying to avoid eye contact. As much as I tried to stop myself my eyes tracked his movement around the kitchen, he wasn't wearing a shirt even though it already felt like winter and watching his muscles roll under his skin with every movement was becoming my crack.

"Do you usually go running in the mornings?" He asked, I tore myself away from looking at his chest as he dropped to the chair opposite me, he had a knowing look on his face, a yeah I saw you checking me out look. It took me a second to process his question.

"Yeah, I try for every second day. It clears my head." Usually.

"It's not safe for you to go running by yourself in the dark."

"I've been doing it for a couple years now and never had a problem." I replied defensively, no girl liked to be told that she wasn't safe because she was female.

"Mind if I come with you next time?"

"Why? You want to protect me?" Inwardly I cringed at how bitchy I was being, surely Adam knew how nervous he made women, with looks like his women had probably been stumbling over themselves his entire life.

"I like to run, Tori. I like it even more when I have someone to go running with." I pictured him running with me in the early morning, watching the play of his muscles when he was being physically active. I would probably trip and break my ankle within five minutes.

"I prefer to run alone." Not that I had a basis for comparison, I had never had a running partner. I glanced at the clock, it was half past six the rest of the house would be getting up soon to go to work. I grabbed my empty coffee mug and washed it out in the kitchen sink, I placed it on the drying rack when I felt his body heat behind me. Adam reached around me and rinsed out his own mug, leaving me trapped between his body and the sink and fighting the urge to lean back into him. I grabbed onto the edge of the sink, my mind stuttering to a halt at his scent, I wanted to bottle that scent, so warm and inviting and male.

"I think you would like running with me Tori." Adam spoke into my ear before stepping away at the sounds of footsteps heading towards the kitchen. What the hell had that been? I thought to myself frantically.

"Ugh, you get up disgustingly early Tori, I hate you." Sarah grumbled as she headed straight for the coffee machine, she even ignored Adam, who was innocently sitting back at the kitchen table, munching on an apple. Sarah was in no way a morning person, wouldn't even be a fully functioning human until she ingested two cups of coffee.

"In that case I won't make enough coffee for you in the mornings." I replied, edging out of the kitchen and heading for the shower before my sister took it over. I needed a cold shower to shake off the tingles running through my body from Adams proximity and words. The way he had said the word running made me think he was telling me I would enjoy doing a lot more then running with him.

My first class didn't start until eleven today so I took my time getting ready, I heard everyone leave one by one while I hid myself in my room. Sarah called a goodbye through my closed door before she and Adam left. Sarah worked as a legal aide at law firm in the city, it was a big firm from what Sarah said, she was paid well and had a lot of options for career progression, at the moment she had her heart set on moving into the conveyancing side of things. When Adam stayed the night he usually gave her a lift to work since it was on the way to his apartment and our university. Since Adam and I went to the same university he would sometimes offer to give me lifts to school if we had classes at the same time, I always managed to blow him off telling him I had plans with friends before my class. He let it slide even though I could see on his face he knew I was lying. Once the house was quiet I let myself out of my room, feeling like a child for hiding. I grabbed everything I needed for the day and shoved them in my bag before leaving to catch the bus to the university.