It can't end this way, but I don't want to start my story with endings. I will start at the beginning.
I suppose that I had been dreaming about him for a long time. He was the vague, faceless stranger who appeared in all of my romantic dreams. He had probably always been in my subconscious.
When I think of a beginning, though, I'd have to say that it all started on the night before my sixteenth birthday. That was the night he took on an identity. That was the night when I finally saw his face.
I remember standing beside my bedroom window. The darkness was interrupted only by streetlights as I stared out into the night. There was no moon. Something about that felt wrong. Suddenly, I was startled by a flood of light, and I whirled around.
"What were you doing standing in the dark?" my little sister asked.
"Go away, Alex," I snapped at her, expecting a smart comment, but she just stood there regarding me with a serious expression on her face.
"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," she finally said.
I looked at her in surprise. "Yes, why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know," she said, looking confused. "I just had a weird feeling."
Now I felt guilty for snapping at her. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"I don't think so. I just woke up, and I felt like I had to see if you were okay."
I was touched. "Well, I'm fine except for being too excited to sleep."
She glanced at the clock on my nightstand, which read 11:50. "It's almost your birthday, isn't it?" she said worriedly.
"Yes. For once I'll be awake to see it in, but it's late, and you should go back to sleep."
"Okay," she said. "As long as you're okay."
No arguments. That was a first. "I'm perfectly fine," I told her. Now, goodnight."
"Goodnight," she said as she moved toward the door.
An affection I wasn't usually aware of filled my heart. "Alex," I called after her.
She stopped and turned to look at me with worried eyes.
"I love you." It had been a long time since I'd told her that.
She hurried back and threw her arms around me in a fierce hug. "I love you, too, Allison," she said desperately.
Startled, I hugged her back. Before I could say anything else, she had stepped back away from me.
"Your window is open," she accused.
"So?" I was trying to keep up with her abrupt change of conversation, but she had turned away from me to shut and lock the window.
"Don't let anyone in," she warned.
"Let anyone in!" I repeated incredulously. Before I could point out that my room was on the second floor, and that a person would need a ladder to get in through the window, Alex had walked out of my room.
"She must have had a nightmare," I mumbled to myself. I turned back to the window, but I was suddenly too tired to care whether it was open or closed. I dragged myself to the light switch and flicked it off. I barely made it to the bed before I collapsed. I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. Somehow, I managed to get under the covers before darkness overtook me.
The next thing I knew, I was outside. A gentle breeze was the only thing to disturb the quiet as I stood in the moonlight, waiting for him. Then, he was there, and I was lost in his kiss.
The dream didn't fade when I opened my eyes as dreams usually do. My heart was still pounding with excitement. Slowly, I took in my surroundings and remembered where I was and who I was. It was only a dream, I told myself as I gazed at the sunshine streaming through my bedroom window. It was a beautiful day.
And I could still feel that kiss.
I grabbed the pad and pencil from my nightstand and did a quick sketch. For a few minutes, I stared at the face I had drawn. Even from that hurried drawing, you could tell that he was—as my friend Jenny would say—a total babe.
Then I remembered what day it was. I put the sketch pad away and sprang out of bed, hurrying to my mirror to see if I looked any different. Ever since I was a little girl, I had been sure that this magical day would transform me somehow. It seemed to me that there was a difference, although I couldn't pinpoint it at first. The reflection that greeted me contained the same average body and the same ordinary features as always.
Finally, I realized that the change had taken place inside of me. It was the kiss, I thought. It had made me feel special. But that had only been a dream, even though it had felt so real. But then, I asked myself, how would you know what a real kiss feels like? Somehow, that thought didn't seem to worry me the way it usually did. I wasn't even nervous about the party. Before that morning, I had been obsessing over it for months.
The smell of breakfast cooking made me realize that I was hungry. I had been so nervous and excited the night before that I had hardly been able to eat anything for dinner. I threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and bounded down the stairs.
"Happy birthday," my family said in unison as I ran into the kitchen.
"Boy," my dad said as he took the bacon from the frying pan and loaded it onto a plate. "Someone is full of energy today."
My mom stood beside the sink with a bowl in her hand. She had a sentimental smile on her face. "Sweet sixteen," she said softly.
"And never been kissed!" yelled Alex, who was seated at the table, fork in hand, even though there was no food yet set before her to attack. Apparently, she was back to being "The Pest."
Usually, after a comment like that I would have been ready to draw blood, but I was in too good of a mood. Remembering my dream, I just smiled.
"Alex," Dad said. "Settle down."
"Who wants scrambled eggs?" Mom asked.
"I do!" Alex yelled.
Dad gave her a look.
I laughed. "Me, too."
Alex bounced around in her seat. "I can't wait for the party. It's gonna be great!"
It was my turn to raise my voice. "No way are you going to be there. Mom, you said she was going to sleep over Grandma's"
"Both of you, settle down," Dad said.
Mom came out of her daze. "Alex, you know you're staying with Grandma tonight."
"Why can't I stay here?" Alex pouted.
"I'll tell you why," I said before either one of our parents could respond. "Because I'm not having a little ten-year-old brat ruin the most important party of my life."
Alex rolled her eyes. "It's just a party, Allison. I hope I'm not this goofy when I get to be sixteen."
"I don't see how you could get any goofier."
"What are you gonna do that you can't do in front of me? Do you think any guy is really gonna want to kiss you?"
"Well, they sure as hell are never going to want to kiss you," I shot back.
"That's enough," Mom said.
"You smell," Alex taunted. "And—"
"Settle down!" Dad shouted.
Alex and I looked at each other and cracked up. Mom shook her head. Breakfast was peaceful after that, which allowed my mind to wander. I thought about my party, but mostly I was remembering my dream. My thoughts were interrupted by Alex.
"I want to give you your present now," she announced excitedly, jumping off her chair and running upstairs.
Mom sighed. "One of these days, someone is going to get hurt by not taking their time on those stairs."
Alex came flying back downstairs and halted beside me. She held out a small package. I took it from her, wondering what in the world it could be. If I didn't know better, I thought, I would believe it was jewelry.
She waited expectantly. "Open it now."
I tore the wrapping to reveal a little white box. I pulled the top off of it and took out the black velvet box I found inside the first box. I thought it had to be a joke. Surely, it would be empty, but it wasn't.
"Alex," I gasped.
"Do you like it?" she asked anxiously.
"Yes, but—"
"Where did you get the money to pay for that?" Mom broke in.
"From my savings," Alex answered proudly.
We all knew about Alex's savings. It was a piggy bank in her room where she kept all the money she received for her birthdays and Christmas. I had always spent mine at the first opportunity, but she saved hers. Now she had spent a good portion of it on my present.
Our parents looked dumbfounded. I knew how they felt. I couldn't believe it myself as I removed the gold cross and chain from the box.
"Do you like it?" Alex asked again.
"It's beautiful." I stood up and gave her a hug. "Thank you."
The little brat is full of surprises lately, I thought, but I was starting to get choked up. I couldn't get over how sweet this was of her. She motioned for me to lean down so she could help me put on the necklace. I hugged her again. "It's a great present."
"Do you promise never to take it off?"
I stared at her. What an odd request. The worried look in her eyes reminded me of the night before. I began to feel uneasy. Several light knocks drew my attention to the back door. I could see through the screen that it was Alex's best friend, Scott.
"Come in," Mom called.
Scott opened the door and stepped inside. "Hi."
We all answered him except for Alex. "Do you promise?" she repeated.
The phone rang, and Dad answered it. "Allison, it's for you."
Alex was still waiting for an answer and grabbed my arm to get my attention.
"Sure, I promise." I caught the relieved look on her face before I turned away to answer the phone.