I stroll into a shop. Innocent as a kitten. And as soon as I'm in- the moment my shoe is over the goddamn threshold, I have got the attention of the entire store.
"What the hell is he doing here?" Is what that shopkeeper- she's looking at me, right now- is thinking. And dammit, it irritates me that this pair of judge-y eyes belongs to a girl. A girl so skinny that she'd fly away if I so much as breathed on her. So being unable to do anything violent, I browse. That's what you do in a clothes shop right? Innocent, innocent, innocent,
I have self control. Not a lot, but enough. So when she comes over- in my face. Like. In. My. Face. And says,
"Excuse me sir, but where did you get that lipstick? It's gorgeous." I sure as hell fall over because I was completely expecting her to kick me out.
I stare this girl down, and wonder whether or not she is completely oblivious and doesn't realise that I am indeed a man or if she's pointedly ignoring the blatant mannishness that is my body and proceeding to talk to me anyway. Because really, it's either of those two reasons- no one is that accepting.
"Um, the 'Kwikki Mart'" I smile, simpering at her face, which is grinning way too hard to be comfortable. "Oh, where's that?"
Then turn and walk out, because if she doesn't catch such a glaringly obvious 'Simpsons' reference, then she's not worth my time.
It's only when I'm devour- nibbling on a burger sometime later, that it occurs to me that she could have been making a joke. I think for a second.
Nah, she didn't look smart enough.
I love partitions ^_^