They said I was too ugly to be a model. For me I thought that was the best thing on earth. Since every single girl in the school was posing like it was vogue magazine, I had to act the part. My mother always told me that I was damn sure no Beyoncé and I was damn sure no Aaliyah so I had to work with what I got. People always told me to have self-confidence in my self. Even if I look like an ape's first cousin. Personally, I had to tell myself that I was the baddest bitch. I had to make myself believe I was the baddest bitch. If I thought I was the baddest bitch, everybody else would think I am the baddest bitch.
"Hey girl, what's up with you?"
My friend Tami slaps me on the arm with her tight blue shorts. She has a crop top that was so short to the point that rihanna wouldn't wear it. Tami always had the new outfits on point. Whenever a celebrity was rocken it, Tami was always the first one. She always had the boys and she always was allowed to go to parties with them. I always wanted to be her. Especially when she looked like Aaliyah. People would mistake Tami for her and it always drives me crazy. She pops her gum as she looks at me up and down. She points at the guy with the green shirt and then licks her lips.
"Girl, do you see flashy tonight? He is looking so fine."
I always thought that Flashy was looking so good at the time. His light skin and his clean hair cut really got me on cloud nine. His soft skin and small beautiful brown eyes almost helped me had an orgasm. But I always kept my cool. Knowing the fact that he didn't like girls who were Ugly like me. He only dated the "it" girls who were pretty like Tami. But you can't blame a sista for trying. As I stared at Flashy and his crotch, I saw him licked his lips.
"Yeah he is. I wish I could have time with him alone. Loud knows I would go all over him"
Tami smiled at me when I said that. She looked at me and smiled as if I was some sort of genius.
"Maybe you should go over there and talk to him."
" Naw, you crazy. He doesn't care about me."
She raised one eyebrow and tapped me on the shoulder. She nudged her head over towards Flashy's direction and pushed me.
"Come on, what will happen? You know he is deff looking in your direction. Why should you wait until the last minute?"
She was right. Why should I wait for him to come to me when I could come to him? I walked slowly towards him; he was talking to his boys as he plays with his chin. I walk towards him nervous. He looked in my direction, as I was right next to him. He smiled at his boys and then told them to leave. He turned to me as I touched his shirt.
"Hey Flash, What's up?"
He looked away as if he was too cool and then looked at me and made an exception.
"Nothing just chilled."
"Cool, me too."
We both stared at each other. He licked his lips as he pulled on my hair. Flashy put his tongue in my ear and swirled it all around. He took a step back and smiled. Flashy talked to his boys and then took my hand to his bedroom. He looked at me and turned around.
" You know I have been watching you."
Flashy pushes my hair back. I could tell he was into me as he went towards my face with his sweet usher colon.
He shakes his head while biting his lips. Flashy unbuttons my paints.
"Yeah girl. You were the only sexy thing I want and since we were having that connection, you new just what to do."
I looked confused as he said that.
As he was done shaking his head, he licked his lips and pushed me on the bed. My whole body was shivering as his hand touched my body. Flashy's hands were all over the place. So were his lips, which left every mark all over my body. He put his finger in my private area and moved it up and down. I almost screamed and attached my hands on his back. Flashy felt the sting from my scratch marks and bit his lip. He jerked a little and got up to pull out his penis. Flashy jerked it off in front of me and put it in side me. I made so much noise that the neighbors knocked on the door.
"KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!"
All neighbors knocked on the door. Allot of people started to make noise but we kept going. The more that people came, the more Flashy went deeper. I could feel him almost near my stomach. My eyes were rolled back and as soon as you knew it, I was in heaven.
The next day, I was smiling from ear to ear. I was in such a good mood that even Tami was curious. She pulled me aside towards the lockers as people were looking at us up and down.
"What happened girl? Tell me everything."
She kneeled in as I rubbed my hands together. Tami sat back and sipped her soda.
"Well, we got close."
Tami jumped up and down as soon as I said that. People looked at her funny and then she went closer to me.
"What else? Did you kiss him?"
I looked away with a smile and then jumped up and down.
"We got it in girl!"
We both screamed and jumped around. We were so loud that everybody told us to be quiet. We quickly stopped.
"Give me details girl. How was it?"
"Lets just say. The neighbors know our names."
We both jumped again and laughed. Tami stopped for a second and pulled me to the side.
"Yo, did he wear a condom?"
I stopped for a second and thought about it. I didn't really check and started to get nervous.
"I don't know. I think so. Why?"
Tami's face turned serious. She coughed a little and then dragged me to the nurse's office.
"Well I'm just saying, Flashy has been around and plus you can get pregnant."
"Oh my god."
I began to get scared. My knees were trembling and my heart was pounding. I completely lost my happiness. Tami walked with me to get tested. She held my hand as I wrote my name down for an appointment. We waited for the receptionist to give us her say. As we waited, we say Flashy come outside the office with a paper in his hand. Tami went up to him.
"Hey what does it say?"
Flashy looks at Tami with a long face. He takes a deep breath and puts his head up.
"It says I am positive with HIV!"