I stare at my clear reflection; it is hazed by the blue discoloration, but the redness in my eyes are still evident, just like the tear stains that go down both of my cheeks. I gave you all that I could, yet you still went away. You wanted more, you said, so you left me behind. I want to cry, but I already used up all of my tears; used them up all on you.
I press a hand against the cool glass and rest the side of my face on it. I pretend that it is you I am leaning on; your strong, yet comforting arms envelop me in a secure, and warm embrace. I even close my eyes to hide the dominating darkness that surrounds me now. It helps me see your face in more detail; your brilliant eyes that drew me in to you, your magnificent hair that I used to touch so much, and your perfect lips that I have kissed a thousand times over. Naively, I try to press my lips against yours, but cold meets my touch and I immediately open my eyes.
I look down and hold a hand against my heart. It hurts… It hurts so much because I still love you. Even when you look at me and see me as a stranger, or when you don't even acknowledge my presence at all. I still love you regardless of all that. No matter how hard I try to get over you, you still drift in my mind like specks of forgotten dust drifting through the breeze.
I eventually gather the courage to look up and I am met with your face staring back at me. Desperate, I reach for you, my left hand extends towards the glass. Yours does too, yet as we are about to touch, your form disappears. My hand hits the glass heavily, and I once more lean my face against the cool surface. I shouldn't have this much hope. I realize that you are already far away. You have been for a while, it's just only now that I finally allowed myself to accept it.
I used to believe that no matter what happened, we would always manage to get through the ordeals together, but you stopped fighting, and I fell into a deep, dark pit. I am now like a delicate feather that easily crumbles with the correct choice of words, or your own cruel actions. I don't even know if you cared about me at all; you were always so cold and distant that I felt like I was pounding on a brick wall just to try to get your attention. I wonder if all those times you said you loved me were ever genuine; if you did indeed feel the same way about me as I did for you.
I take in a deep breath and sigh loudly. I once again look up, though this time I just see myself staring back. I can no longer take the sight of my misery, so I close my eyes.
More memories of us swirl in my mind like a whirlwind of emotions. I tried to make things work out, I really did, but in the end we both had different desires for the future, so we split apart. The harsh reality is what affects me the most; I didn't want to accept the outcomes. Maybe I should have minded my own business and stay away from you, yet I couldn't help myself. You were perhaps the best thing that has happened to me. You made me experience so much that I wouldn't have ever been able to by myself. But even the one good thing in my life has been taken away from me. It felt like a part of my soul was ripped out, exposing the raw parts where the shadows were never supposed to reach, yet now occupy in huge numbers.
I shake my head, and the dark thoughts are removed from my conscience. Happier memories invade this time, and it leaves me feeling warm and nostalgic. I remember all the good times that we had, the future that we were planning together. A sad smile reaches my face at the thought of what could have been.
My love, wherever you are, know that while we may never be together, I want you to know that even though you may never read this, I will remember you forever…
Abruptly, I feel a wet sensation pass over my right cheek. I breathe sharply. I guess that even after all this time, I can still shed one tear for you… just another speck of dust in the wind.