Casey pulled up her shorts and readjusted her bra. As the familiar feelings of shame and disgust began to creep over her shoulders, a new emotion caused her to pause while pulling her shirt over her head. She applied pressure to her aching chest and realized, she hated him. She never knew hate, and had always assumed that she lacked the capacity, but, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that this knew achy, choking feeling was hate and she hated him even more for being capable to make her feel this way.
Anybody who had watched them walk into the woods twenty minutes prior would not have been surprised at her revelation. They had walked into the woods, him following her, screaming at the top of their lungs. She had called him an douchebag, under her breath after he had stepped on her foot. She knew that he saw her and had simply decided not acknowledge her. It pissed her off. He turned around and asked what she said, but she didn't feel like it would have been prudent that she yell out her insult, being that they were five feet away from both of their families at the Sunday school picnic.
She stepped in to him so that she would only have to whisper it again.
She turned on her heel and stormed away. There had been a flare of energy between them in the millisecond of close contact but, she disregarded it as an extension of her palpable anger and walked into the direction of the woods to cool off. She was in charge of the double dutch competition in about twenty minutes and she didn't want to snap at anyone else because she was ready to punch him in the face. She was seething so completely with anger that she didn't notice he was following her until he yanked her by her elbow to turn her around.
"What the heck, Troy!" Casey said as she regained her footing after the jolt
"What was that all about Casey?" Troy demanded.
"You saw me walking toward your mom, and you crossed my path, without an excuse me, stepping on my foot. I get that you want to stay out of my path, and you should, but respect personal boundaries, Douche." Casey turned back around and began walking deeper into the woods
"Oh grow up Casey. First of all, I didn't see you, I did not mean to step on your foot. Second of all, I've done nothing to you, and you are not even on my radar, so get over yourself with all of that 'stay out of your path' bullcrap."
Casey looked at Troy incredulously as he then turned on his heel and stormed away simulating what she had done minutes before. She took two giant steps and pushed him with all she had.
"What do you mean you've done nothing to me? You betrayed my father, you hurt my sister and my mother! You turned your back on the family that stood by you for YEARS while you tried to figure your life and your soul salvation out. You called my father mentor AND father and still had no problem slandering his name. You called my sister confidante and friend then stood by while she was made the center of a smear campaign. You are scum. You are a filthy dirtbag and I don't even know how you had the unmitigated gall to even show your face here."
"None of that has anything to do with you." he replied with such surety and calmness that it only fueled her fury.
"They are my family you ASS. When they hurt, I hurt, and I don't even say that because I think you care about me, but so that you can grasp the concept of what would happen to you if someone did those things to your family." Casey stepped back and shook her head. "Maybe not. You were apart of my family, Troy. You betrayed us. Just stay out of my way. Stay away." All the fight had been drained out of Casey and she walked even deeper into the woods realizing that she was probably lost and not caring because she had to be away from him.
When he touched her shoulder this time, she was prepared for it and braced herself so that she wouldn't fall when when he yanked her around, but the touch was gentle.
"No, Troy," she jerked out his reach, "You don't get to touch me, you don't get to comfort me. You lost those rights long before any of this."
"Casey, you're going to get lost." Troy tried reasoning with her.
Casey responded with a bitter laugh, "Please. It's really too late pretend like you care. Go back Troy. I'll be fine." Casey kept walking aimlessly forward until she got to a clearing. When she turned to sit on a near by log and saw that Troy had followed her still, she was visibly annoyed.
She laid lengthwise on the log, closed her eyes, and crossed her legs at her ankles. She was determined to ignore him.
She smelled him before she felt him, standing beside the log, he had been wearing the same cologne since junior high school, and she could was tell when he entered a room. It was habit that she even noticed at all.
"Go away Troy."
"Talk to me Casey" he nudged her shoulder with his shin
"I've said all I have to say Troy. You talk if you want to." She readjusted her self on the log.
"I don't wanna…" Troy said as he knelt by the log.
Casey opened one eye and looked at him, but he wasn't looking at her face. Laying down like she had, had pushed her breast up and they were halfway spilling out of her tank top.
"You have got to be kidding me." Casey said as she got up pushing past the kneeling Troy. "Let's get back." When he did get move immediately, she walked back over pulling him up and pushing him back towards the woods.
"This isn't the right way," Troy said stopping suddenly causing Casey to bump into his back. He turned around quickly catching her by her shoulders before she had a chance to stumble back.
"Stop moving so fast," Casey said immediately taking several steps back, but it was too late the fire was lit. Being in close proximity is why they had started their "affair" when she was thirteen and he was fifteen. She had felt him when he turned around and she knew he did it on purpose. It had been almost two years since they had last fooled around, which was a year and six months before all of this drama plagued them. They hadn't worked out because he hadn't loved her, but none of this was relevant. He was the enemy and she wasn't doing this.
Casey shook her head and started walking in the direction she thought was the picnic grounds making a point to walk wide around him.
"You're still going the wrong way Case" his voice had dropped several octaves and it sent chills down her spine
"Don't call me Case." She turned around and started walking in the opposite direction picking up her pace
"Why did we never have sex, Casey?"
The question was so unexpected and so random she did stumble before nearly breaking out in a jog.
He caught up to her in a few long strides and stopped her.
"If you give me an answer, I'll point you in the right direction." He was invading her personal space and she began backing up.
"How do I know that I'm not already walking in the right direction?" She was not going to let this happen. She could feel the energy between them changing like it always did when they were this close but she was determined not to give in.
"You don't know. You won't know." He had kept walking toward her until her back was against a tree and he knew she could feel him against her stomach.
"Troy, stop." she said, but she made no effort to move him. She hadn't had sex in eight months and she had always wondered what sex would've been like with him. Then she remembered why she was glad she hadn't.
She pushed him off of her.
"You're an idiot, I'll find my way back, if you get back before me, tell then I'm lost" She began walking again looking for signs to get back to the picnic area.
"Screw it," She heard him whisper under his breath and she gave up looking for signs and started to run, blindly forward. She knew if he touched her she would give in, and she knew she would hate herself for it. She had always had the case of the can't help its with him, and she was about to relapse. She only got a few feet ahead before he caught up with her and tackled her to the ground.
"I hate you." She whispered as he attacked her neck with his lips and grabbed at her breast through her shirt.
"I know." he responded as he ground into her and felt her let go.