I was there when they took you away.
I was screaming and you were crying,
And I tried to grab your hands
But caught nothing but air.
It was just… noise.
Just noise and salt and moisture.
There was no blood and yet
My vision was tinted red.
I had no sight for anything but your eyes,
And they were shouting, pleading with me.
But I could not.
I stood there and screamed
As they wrapped you up in duck cloth,
Buckled you fast and carted you away.
They left me behind so I chased them,
I kept screaming your name
And I assumed you could not answer
For I heard nothing.
I couldn't keep up for long
But that did not matter for I knew where you were going.
I did not sleep, but wasted along the road.
I followed you desperately to the place
We both feared most.
When I got there they said you had gone.
I refused to leave so they gave me some sweets and told me to stay.
I woke up in a cell
I was strait-jacketed
And I dared not move a muscle
From fear and rage.
I shut my eyes.
And then I heard a ringing,
Then screaming, screaming like I'd never heard.
It was her voice.
Screaming my name.
And she was crying, crying,
And they were laughing.
Her cries diminished.
But their laughter did not,
And my cries began.
I shut my eyes tighter
So I would only see black,
But her face as they took her away was all I could see.
And all I could hear was her screaming for me to run.
Screaming my name.
Then those men, that callous, malicious laughter…
I was deaf to everything but that single sequence,
Forever on repeat.
And I did not sleep and did not eat,
I did not speak or think.
So I got sick.
They pumped me full of drugs and forced me to keep living
When I didn't want to live anymore.
And they laughed as I screamed.
The mental torture
Turned out to be my only saviour:
Hearing her voice all hours of the day and night.
She stole me peacefully one day,
And she hid me in a cupboard
Whilst they shoved electricity through my stricken heart
And through the vacant nerve pathways of my brain
And expected them to work again
When they had broken so long ago.