There we were again, in the compromising position where the intimacy always ended. We were on his bed; he was on top of me, gazing into my eyes. Here we go. I thought to myself. This is where he turns bright red and rolls off of me, abruptly trying to change the subject to something much less emotionally and physically intense.
But this time he didn't. He bent down and gently kissed my chest, surprising me. "Kenzie, I think I'm ready," he whispered softly. He didn't seem nervous at all.
"Really? Are you sure?" I asked, in a hushed voice as well. He nodded and was soon kissing me again, only pausing briefly to remove his shirt. Delighted, I wrapped my arms around him so I could experience the touch of his warm skin against mine. Except when I did, he didn't feel warm at all.
In fact, he kind of felt like a pillow.
Suddenly, the world that was Beckett's bedroom suddenly faded into my own, dark bedroom where I lay in bed by myself. I moaned out loud. It was just a dream. Of course it was just a dream. I was convinced that something that intimate was just never going to happen between Beckett and me.
I mean, he had been getting better over the summer. That was mainly due to the fact that one of his doctors had finally diagnosed him with a type of panic disorder and put him on medication for it. It definitely decreased the number of breakdowns he had, and it made some things make a little more sense.
But even with that getting cleared up, he still had Asperger's and social interaction would just never be his forte. Don't get me wrong- I still loved Beckett. The only problem I had was the pace of our relationship. I wanted intimacy, I wanted him to be able to say sweet, romantic things to me without getting too embarrassed. We were about a month away from our one year anniversary and I hadn't even seen him shirtless.
I had been planning on trying to figure something out, but every plan I devised in my head just seemed like a bad idea. As much as I really wanted to get in his pants, I also really didn't want to upset him.
I rolled over in my bed to look at my alarm clock. 6:30. I had to be up to get ready for school in fifteen minutes. That was fifteen precious minutes of sleep that I was no longer going to get. If fate was going to be cruel enough to deprive me of sleep, it could have at least let me finish the Beckett dream I was having. I was going to have to get up and I knew I was not going to be able to go back to sleep, so I pushed back my covers and got out of bed. An early start never hurt anyone, right?
Anyway, it was my senior year of high school. Beckett was still my boyfriend, and Aria and Sam were still my best friends. I had no idea where I wanted to go to college, while my other classmates were already sending in applications. I still wasn't even sure if I wanted to go to college.
I knew Aria's top school was The University of Connecticut, while Sam's was NYU. I felt kind of overshadowed by the way they were starting to have their life all planned out, while I had no idea where mine was going. But I knew Beckett planned on going to the community college that was nearby so I had a feeling I might end up going there as well.
As usual, Sam came and picked me up to take me to school, with Aria already in the front seat (Also as usual).
"Good morning," I mumbled as I got into his car.
"Hey. . . well you look kind of. ..bad," Aria observed. I glared at her.
"Gee thanks," I mumbled. "I'm just really tired. I haven't been sleeping to well."
"Why? Something up?" Sam pitched in. I told him that there wasn't anything wrong that I could think of.
"Are you having nightmares?" Aria asked.
"The opposite, actually," I said, then bit my lip, embarrassed that I had said that out loud. I had known the two of them ever since I can remember. And they knew what I meant by that and would not hesitate to tease me.
"Oh, so it was one of those dreams?" Aria laughed, turning back towards me to wriggle her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.
"NO. . .Okay, fine. Yeah." I mumbled. "Don't you dare tell Beckett though. He'll get embarrassed." I said, defensively.
"Yeah, yeah, it's not like he did anything."
"I don't know. I guess he didn't, he just gets really uncomfortable when conversations turn. . . sexual. " I explained. I don't know why I had to explain this, though. They knew very well that he was uncomfortable with it.
As we pulled into the student parking lot at school, I immediately scanned the entrance of the building to find that Beckett was waiting for me in the same spot he always waited for me in. I still thought it was adorable how he still did that. I got out of the car and started making my way towards him.
"Good morning Kenzie," He said, smiling, as he greeted me with a warm hug. Somehow my mind dropped from the hug to my dream and how I had wanted to hug him naked. My face burned. Hopefully he wouldn't notice how badly I was blushing.
"Morning Beckett," I said in response.
"Oh, get a room," Aria remarked as she passed us while entering the building.
"Why do we need a room?" Beckett asked me. I shrugged. He shook his head. "Aria's crazy."
"That she is."
A/N: YOU ASKED FOR IT YOU GOT IT I know it took forever for me to post again but yay! I'm not entirely sure where this is going but that always has its own way of working itself out :P