:—Prologue—:

There are a few rules that we each live by. Some are taught to us by our parents, others are laws that we—should—abide by.

Don't talk to strangers.

Don't take candy from strangers

Don't run with food in your mouth.

Don't wear white after Labor Day (really, what kind of rule is that?).

Don't steal.

Don't speed (not that anyone really listens to that one because, if we were all hit with truth serum, we would all admit to driving over the speed limit at least once in our lives).

Don't text and drive (also something most have done at least once).

All rules and laws are given to us for our own protection, even if some of them seem stupid and no duh-ish. They are like the universal rules for life; don't do this and don't do that if you want to survive.

And then . . . then there are those rules we make for ourselves due to past experiences.

Rules like:

Don't smile with teeth for your school picture when you have braces.

Don't wear stripes with polka-dots.

Don't change your sexuality on Facebook just to be funny (because you definitely won't be laughing two hours after you do it).

And now it's my turn to add onto that list of Don't Dos.

So, if you're ever in the mall, with a friend or by yourself, and this guy (it doesn't matter if he's hot - tall, dark, handsome, and with the most gorgeous eyes you have ever seen) comes up to you out of nowhere and says "Will you pretend to be my girlfriend for like ten minutes if I give you a hundred bucks?" don't ask for the money up front. Don't even entertain the thought of agreeing with it because, hey, a hundred bucks for ten minutes of my time! No, don't do it. Just glare at him and kick him in the balls. Just walk away.

Because if you say yes . . . well, you've just screwed yourself for life.

Trust me. I know.