It's been quite a while now

Yet I still suffer

The terrible times of torment I have

Yet nothing gets better

Why is it that I must live

If only to suffer so seriously

I just want this life of mine

To end in a burst of carmine

All I've had in my life is woe

I should've ceased surviving a long time ago

Why is it that I could continue spouting hate

Yet I could not turn my life to joy

Gone is the initial acclaim

With which I failed to make my life a good one

All I have is emptiness and remorse

Gone is the joie de vivre I so lust to reclaim

Years have passed since I came back

To the land of the rising sun

At first everything was fun

But then my elation went pitch-black

Living became a great difficulty

People became my main source of acrimony

Enemies here and there didn't help

Especially the most exigent one

The most difficult demons came from within

My own feelings of anguish and loathing

They aroused my darkest notions

Until misery and hate became my main emotions

It's been quite a while now

But most just see me as a silhouette

I'm the hated one that's destined for ruin

What I can feel most is regret