Robbin' The Hood
Synopsis: A ghetto version of Robin Hood. Robin, a girl who is mischevious and puckish, robs banks to assist the indigent in Chicago. Her 'gang', the Street Men, help her escape from the cops and the corrupt Sherrif Nigel Ham. Robin has a love interest in his son, Rory. Whenever she is caught, Rory helps her escape. Rory ultimately exposes his father's dealings in the black market and back alley deals with the Bolero crime family (who have had control in Chicago since Prohibition took root). This leads to Nigel almost getting whacked by the Don of the Boleros, Traviato 'Viato'. Another Sherrif takes the place of Nigel, Donald Johnson. Don is more strict and the law becomes more evident even in the mean streets of Chicago.
'Wherever you go, I'll go.'-Rebecca to Tommy, 'Womb'
Lil' John 'John Marquis':
Sherrif Nigel Ham:
Don Traviato 'Viato' Bolero:
Franciso 'Frank' Bolero:
Michael 'Little Mike' Bolero:
Sherrif Donald Johnson:
Marc Antony Johnson:
Scene 1-The Same Shenanigans
Robin: (in the process of being persued by the Sherrif and his men, with the help of her crew)
Guys, come on ! You have to pedal faster if you want to outrun the fuzz this time !
Lucas: Robin, I'm pedalling as fast as I possibly can. You're too quick for the rest of us.
Lil' John: Oh, shut up, Lucas ! Don't be such a pussy !
Lucas: Hey, John...need I remind you that I'm one of the primary cooks in the crew !
Piss me off and there will be no dinner tonight.
Lil' John: Bite me, Lucas.
Tuck: Will you guys stop feudin' and a fussin' ? We're still being followed, as if you didn't already know !
John: Thank you, Tuck for your obviousness !
Scarlett: Guys, I think we can outrun them this time ! Come on, follow me through this alleyway.
Robin: Sweet, Scarlett ! You are a genius !
Scarlett: Thank you, thank you !
(An instrumental version of 'Is Anyone Out There (Cuz It's Gettin' Harder and Harder to Breathe) plays in the background while the police give chase to our heroine and her crew. Inevitably they are caught with no escape.)
Scarlett: (mouthing) Shit !
John: Hey, Scarlett, you tried. It was a good escape run while it lasted.
Lucas: And once more, we're hauled away to the Chicago police station... Home away from home.
Lil' John: Looks like we're eatin' prison food again tonight, Lucas ! Eating like kings among men.
Lucas: (rolling eyes) God, give me strength or I swear to God I'll ring his thick, testosterone riddled neck.
Robin: Guys, this is neither the time or the place. Don't worry, ok ? Have faith.
Tuck: Robin's right. (points upwards) His methods are not our own.
Nigel: Looks like I caught you vagabonds again. Trying to do some good with stolen money? Robin, Robin, Robin ! Didn't your parents ever teach you better ? (sarcastically) Oh, I forget ! You don't have parents.
Rory: Dad, that's a bit low. Even for you.
Nigel: (A bit unhinged) Rory, I am the law in these parts. I do what I want, when I want, how I want to. It's a tough city, but I am tougher.
Rory: (rolling his eyes without catching his father's gaze)
Nigel: You'll inherit my position someday, young man. Never forget that.
Rory: 'Course not dad. Police work is in the Ham's blood after all.
Nigel: That's my boy ! (pats his back) You make your old man proud. Watch the prisoners while I go. I have business to attend to.
(Harlem Nocture plays in the background as Nigel attends to 'business'.)
Don: So, it is as we all planned then, Sherrif ?
Nigel: Just as you required, Don Bolero. No other officials know about the transport than me. You're gonna cash in tonight.
Don: You know we both profit. And what's better than sending that punk boy of yours to a prestigious school where he can really learn and grow to become something ?
Nigel: Rory doesn't take after his old man though. He has principals.
Don: So long as he is unaware of the type of business we are about, then it is all for the better.
Mike: As dad likes to say, ignorance is bliss.
Frank: True dat, Mike. True dat. We owe youse a dinner though, like usual. Do you think you can swing it with your hefty schedule ?
Nigel: I'll have to make up some lame-assed yarn to pull my nuts out of the fire, you know.
Don: No one is better at deciept than you.
Frank: Come on, we have no better time than the present. We'll head on up to the club.
Mike: Time to partay harday.
(Scene transition to the club, dancing to Daft Punk melodies being played on the turn-table by a character that looks vaguely like Dave Strider. Done in 'clipshow' fashion, and another scene fade occurs with Nigel sneaking home unbeknownst to his slumbering family. All the while, Rory does a little sneaking of his own to release Robin from prison.)
Scene 2-Digging Deeper
Rory: (making sure mom and dad are asleep, as well as the dog. As soon as he has the 'all clear', he makes his move and cycles to the prison to spring Robin)
Robin: (quietly) It's you ! Oh thank goodness...I knew you were on my side as always.
Rory: Of course, why wouldn't I be ? You're for the side of justice. My dad is up to something, I just know it. I'm not sure what, exactly, but I have a bad feeling in my gut.
John: Quit your yacking and flirtin' and spring us, already.
Rory: Sheesh, ungrateful, aren't we ?
John: (mockingly but smiling nonetheless)
Rory: There...got it. Now you guys gotta lay low. If you get caught, I'll release you again.
Robin: I doubt there will be a next time.
Rory: That's a shame because you're my thief of hearts.
Lucas: Oh, barf !
Scarlett: Come on, everyone. Let's vamoose before this turns into a regular snogfest.
Tuck: Later, Rory-nator.
Rory: After while, Tucker-guile.
Rory: (leaving a text for his mom on his cell) Sorry I will be a little late to supper tonight. Don't worry about me. I'll call you as soon as I am ready to come home. I'll eat whatever you have leftover in the fridge. Love you, mom ! Ok, and send. (sighs a little) I do hope that she doesn't worry too much about me.
Robin: Hey, Rory ! Where are you off to ?
Rory: I'm following a lead. Wanna come with ?
Robin: It's what I do, isn't it ?
Scarlett: Another investigation ? Are you sure this is a good idea, Robin ?
Robin: Rory's intuitions are more often than not, usually correct.
Lucas: We're not gonna get thrown in the slammer again are we ?
Rory: I swear my deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards on it.
Tuck: (laughing) Nerd !
Lucas: Shut it, Tuck. You have Pokemon cards yourself so, who's calling the cauldron black ?
Rory: I have been keeping tabs on my dad's cell phone calls by doing a little hacking of my own.
John: Subterfuge. I think I like you more and more every minute.
Robin: Where was he last ?
Rory: He was at the Bongo last night. I have a feeling it was a meeting with Viato Bolero.
Scarlett: Of the vicious Bolero gang ?
Lucas: Those dudes are notorious. We do not wanna be messin' with them cats.
They're bad NEWS !
John: Again, pointing out the obvious, thank you.
Rory: Come on...we're burning daylight.
(An instrumental version of 'Skylark' plays in the background. The guests that haven't left the vicinity are passed out drunk.)
Tuck: (looking at information on the labtop) Guys, look at this. They're getting in a shipment of drugs, ammunition and other illegal provisions.
Rory: Dad is in league with these guys...I knew it.
Lucas: We need to be as quiet as we possibly can or we'll blow our cover.
John: (nodding) Right.
Scarlett: What do you sugguest we do about this ? We're just thieves. We help the less fortunate.
Robin: Scarlett, I don't rightly know the answer. But I do have friends in high places. (looks at Rory)
Rory: I know of another sherrif. Granted I need to take some evidence of my own...(snaps some photos)
Lucas: No...dude...No ! (nearly screams but John clamps his hand tight over his mouth)
John: Clam your pie hole !
(The mobster and his sons stir slightly but return to sleep. As they make their escape, they leave unnoticed and quieter than mice. A transition occurs with Rory calling another Sherrif and the investigation begins.)
Scene 3-Trouble with a Capital 'T'
(Robin makes another 'transaction' to help the needy, and around the city, she does everything she can to help where she is needed. 'I Got It Goin' On' plays in the background as the trail ultimately leads to Sherrif Ham. Ultimately the scene turns from frivolous to serious in moments.)
Traviato: Nigel, you rat ! Did you squeal on me ? No one knew of our operation ! God help me if I didn't love you like a brother, I'd have my boys find you, whack you, cut you into a million pieces and sneak you into a sack of dogfood for your wife to feed your pathetic son of a bitch cur !
Nigel: You wound me to the quick. I have no idea who was behind this. Even if I did, I can't give you justice. Both of us are royally screwed !
Traviato: When you get put in the slammer...I'm gonna have a few words with you. Me and the boys both.
Nigel: (under his breath) Oh, clusternuts.
(Eventually, Robin gets caught again and Rory stops by to see her and the gang)
Rory: Hey, Robin. Fancy seeing you here again. Heh heh.
John: If you weren't Robin's beau, I would find you even more annoying than you are right now.
Scarlett: It's not like he can get us out of here. After Nigel was arrested...
Luke: They were given the ol' heave ho so to speak.
Rory: So I have no jurisdiction here any longer. So what. Marc Antony, the son of the new Sherrif and I are best of buds. I can get a word in with him.
Tuck: What if he doesn't want to agree with you ?
Rory: That's a risk I am willing to take. Do you have any compelling stories to get you out of this mess ?
Robin: We've been helping the Sisters in the area. We're doing volunteer work with them in their soup kitchen 'Ladels of Mercy'. Sister Iradessa says I 'sling the soup' the best, with a song in my heart and a smile on my lips.
Scarlett: All true, hand to God. As my witness, she could be up for the next Ms. Congeniality award.
Robin: Scarlett, stop ! (lowering her gaze) You're making me blush)
John: The sisters will vouch for us.
Robin: It won't stop me from being a theif though. Cash is the only method of helping the homeless I assist.
Luke: At least we get better meals here than we would back in the tent city or whatever bridge we can find to camp out under...
John: Luke, shut up ! I am a damned good cook and you know it. You're just being an anus.
Luke: Heh...Only because you're my brother in spirit and I like you enough to irritate you...
(They start fighting)
Robin: Guys...GUYS ! Stop being morons and listen ! Rory is going to help us again.
But we have to have a better plan to really help the city. It can't be another heist, we always get caught no matter who the Sherrif is.
Marc: (coming in to the jail) I heard mindless arguing... Who are you ? ('You'll Never Find' instrumental starts playing through Marc's mind as he dreamily gazes into Robin's eyes)
Rory: That, my friend, is my girlfriend. Robin Vincent. You can keep your mitts off my girl, capice ?
Marc: (with some reservation but clearly upset) Sure, man. Whatever you say. I don't really date convicts anyway.
John: Why you little...
Luke: Lil' John, no...Not worth it. Plus, look around you. We're surrounded by iron.
John: Not like mashing my fist against it would really hurt me that much anyways ! You forget, I have a high pain tolerance ! (laughs concietedly)
Marc: Lemme guess, you want me to spring your girlfriend and her posse ?
Scarlett: We promise to change our ways. We can guarantee that.
Marc: (a bit smitten with Scarlett) I'm sure you do, baby doll...You're a damn fine member of the female species if I do say so myself.
Tucker: (rolling eyes) I'm gonna gag !
Rory: Come on, Marc. I think she means it. Besides, I know Robin. Deep down, she really is a golden hearted girl.
Robin: I'll go straight, get a job, help the less fortunate by getting them jobs, even in this crappy downturned economy.
Scarlett: I can guarantee that in a year, all of us are going to have jobs of our own. You'll never see us in this cramped, smelly, putrid jail cell again !
Marc: I'm usually not a betting man. I'll give you and your crew one year to straighten up and fly right. Dad and I will be the ones to keep this state crime free. Well, to the best of our ability, anyway.
Rory: I'd doff my hat to you but alas, I'm not wearing one. (chuckles lightly) Alright. I'll keep a watch over them, and I'll let you know their progress.
Marc: You do that, man. You got my info. (fist bumps him)
Rory: I'm outtie. Gotta jet !
Scene 4-Changing the Scenery, One Person at a Time
(One Year Later appears on the screen. All the team is helping at soup kitchen but they all have jobs of their own. The sisters reveal a little bit about Robin's past in this particular scene.)
Robin: I'll see you again Monday, Mason. Yeah, you go knock 'em dead in that interview. Own it ! You're gonna dazzle 'em !
Teresa: Is that Robin I see ?
Robin: Sister ! How long has it been girl ?
Iradessa: I remember when she was only (making a gesture of her hand right up to her midsection) this high ! You have really blossomed.
Clementine: What are you doing with yourself these days ?
Robin: Sisters, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. It took me a while to finally accomplish it, but I'm a social worker. John is in a Boys and Girls club as a councilor, Tuck is selling electronics, Scarlett is getting ready for the BAR exam and Luke is a dosant at the local museum. Blew everyone away being so young and intellectual, he definitely needed that kind of stimulation for his mind.
Gladys: We're all so proud of you. And you all come here to volunteer every weekend ?
Luke: Yep. It's great to give back to the community.
Robin: And I will finally be able to help by giving people what they really need...experience and eventually jobs to go to.
Iradessa: What about...what was his name ?
Rory: (riding in just in time) Robin, there you are. I didn't know where to meet you ! I just knew you wouldn't fail when put to the test.
Robin: (laughing and blushing a little) Still dating and very much in love.
Rory: Talking about me while I'm away, eh ?
Clementine: You treat her well or we'll wrap your knuckles so hard they'll be nothing but stubs.
Iradessa: Clemmy, hun. You're scaring the poor lad !
Rory: (a bit shakily but confident, nonetheless) I assure you sister, that she will always be in good hands. Robin's an innovative gal and she can fight her own battles.
Scarlett: Amen to that, Rory. (light laugh)
Teresa: (hugging her and the others down the line) It was good to see you all again. I knew you'd all turn out to be exhemplary human beings. (winks) The sisters and I have more places to go, people to help.
Sisters: Ta !
(They run off to their volunteerism, as a group)
Rory: Nice ladies, but Clementine can be a might severe... Eesh.
Robin: (slight grimness in tone) Don't remind me. (brightens) She means well.
So, what now ? That bet you made with Marc a year ago, is that inane folly being carried out ?
Rory: (trying not to laugh too much) Marc and I are trying to get into the Academy. We really don't have an awful lot of time to actually keep track of the bets we make, even though I always win and he owes me a buttload of stuff. Most of it is just trips to the arcade, doughnuts, soda, candy and a car wash here and there. All of them have been paid back in full. We don't really do kiddie crap like that anymore.
Robin: I am so proud of you. (pats his back) I heard a little something from Marc that surprised me though. He and Scarlett ! Is it true ? I just thought he was being a fickle flirt !
Scarlett: He was sort of being a playa then, but he really isn't.
Robin: Seriously ! I didn't think you even liked guys like Marc.
Scarlett: Don't judge a book by its handsome cover. Or are you just...jealous !
Robin: No. Not really. Rory's got my back, Scarlett.
Scarlett: I know, I just love ribbin' ya sometimes. I can't help myself. You are, after all, the sister I never had. But the gang and I want to know, even though we don't see each other as much as we'd like...
Luke: Are ya gonna invite us to the wedding when it happens ?
Rory: (sputters) Buh-buh-buh-buh...W-w-w-w-w-w-Wedding ?!
Tuck: They're only in their mid-20s, fellahs. Cool your britches, kay ?
(Rory and Robin take a collective sigh for good measure, relieved and relaxed)
John: So, where are we finishing up the day after all this doing of good ?
Robin: (Leaving change in many homeless people's hats with a huge thank you) To the comic book store ! We may have ditched some childish ways, but comic books, pssht, they never grow old !
(They all agree and walk in, talking as usual...)
('Though the Truth May Vary' plays as a montage of the friends is seen helping people here and there and their photographs are shown of what happens to them in the future...)
(It reads, John is now a married father of two healthy twin baby boys, Gavin and Jace. Scarlett passed her BAR exam with honors and married her sweetheart, Marc. They are expecting their first child. Luke is quite content with the bachelor life but is currently dating a very smart, cute hipster girl named Melody. The Viato gang is no longer an issue in Chicago and the state of Illinois is much cleaner thanks to Marc and Rory. Last but not least, Robin has given thousands of unfortunate people a better, more prosperous future. She and Rory had the most exultant of weddings with the largest cake in the history of confectionaries. The two are now expecting their first child and are eager, anxious and beaming with pride. So long as the group is together, even though apart, they are truly home, and this is the most important spice of life anyone can have at any point in their lives.)
'I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home' plays in the final clip show and we even see some bloopers of Nigel being flirted with by one of the Viato boys. Poor guy !
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