There are sayings when you're young that simply dance on your nerves and file themselves away as a total waste of space in the back of your mind, but I know better than that. I hang to every detail and grow from it under your subconscious. The young mind feels like a tree being beaten by the wind. You are agitated, lost, and thoroughly mangled by life's abuse. But it's not just life so much as what you do in your minds and hearts. The wise throw down advice, sayings, quotes, and even silences that ricochet off your already too-stretched nerves. I reach high and grip hard onto every moment that passes in their presence and you notice lightly what I'm feeling now. And you are not fools to be young and vouch-fully naïve, allowing those fleeting moments with the wisest to roll off your skin like water from a humid rain. No, I do not blame you, my master, in the least when you are so young and blatantly confident.
"You don't know what you've got till it's gone" When that argument with a loved one carries on a second too long, it thickens my walls and pulls on my veins. I weep in these moments for you know this behavior is rash. I don't know what passed through your friend's head (or the wise man of the day by definition) when they were speaking of this, but you and I both know his life hasn't been easy. Perhaps take his words to me and allow me to help lead you with them. His heart is different than me, wiser to say the least. We could both learn something here. But I know, you have a mind and you will use it, do what it tells you and sometimes act on the things it doesn't. What leads you in those moments of weakness? Clearly it is not I, nor your soul for I and your soul beat as halves to a whole, and your mind was muted in those moments so tell me, what led you?
"Life is short so…" speech gets to you a lot I can tell. It frustrates you because you feel like you don't know what life is yet, like you have nothing to show for these short years you've been walking this planet. Where have you been? Where will you go? You wonder this quite a lot but not with your mind. Those are the questions that beat within my core. You want me to guide you there, but you don't know how to follow me yet. I grow as you do, but there is so much more of me to be explored. I can feel it each time I register something knew with you. It excites me, But you panic when I do happy flips inside your chest. You cringe from me. I'm young as you and I'm ambitious, here to lead. But you are still my master, so I stop dancing long enough to bring you ease.
"It's not the quantity, it's the quality." Your granddad tells you often. His heart is amusing for me to ponder on. It's strong and light, but particularly allusive too. I love being in his presence, as I know you do, too. You allow your mind to ponder what he says as much as I ponder, too. But this one rushes into you like a small boulder beating a soft skinned fruit on the ground. You know as well as I do, the quality of which he speaks isn't the best that it could be. You're influenced and I suffer within you, trying to lure you away into something safer, a place away from those bitter hearts. Every good part of you agrees and your emotions catch up playing under your thoughts. You're guilty under that buzz because you know it's wrong and you're granddad is no fool. He knows you could do better. The potential you have, he can sense it with me. I'm the biggest part of you you've got, but why can't you figure out how to understand me yet?
"Forgive and Forget" is another one that your sister tosses around a lot. You think she's a hardcore hippy, but I know she understands her own philosophy well. She's not just saying to speak and she's not just yapping to annoy you, which I know doesn't take much for her to do. Forgiving isn't one of your better suits, I know. Trust me, I understand. But I also understand how it hurts me to hold a grudge when I know that every heart is just looking for love and understanding. Every soul is looking for a good relationship. Weren't you looking for the same when you became friends with those bitter ones? Forgive those that I have wronged you, I know they feel like many. But you're all looking for the same things because you all have the same pieces. Hearts, souls, minds. I'm also aware that I'm screaming against pillows that are being pinned down by semis of resilience in your head.
There are so many more that you have heard. And so many more that will cross your path. You are young and don't understand me much right now, but in time you will learn and you and me will be inseparable. You're growing up and diving into every piece of what makes you who you are, every dark corner will be discovered every inspired light will shine on through. And you will eventually discover me too. In the meantime, I'll do everything I can to be heard, maybe you'll hear me sooner than some, perhaps later than others, but I'll keep trying. I'm here to guide you when you get lost, flipping with excitement when you've done right, crying and weeping where you've done wrong, and shining with encouragement when you stumble. I can tell you why I am the way I am and how it all came to be, but I think I'll save that conversation for a later time because I just want you to find me.