A/N: I started this story a while back, and recently just finished this first chapter. There may or may not be more chapters. it all depends if anyone actually likes this thing. I rather like Raven and Sickle. But i'm a little more focused on Sin and Sisile at the moment. even though I'm stuck on that one for the time being.
disclaimer: All the characters belong to I and I alone. If i find out you used my characters without my personal consent i will find you and hurt you.
Chapter one: Everything begins here
They say you're supposed to go talk to a doctor if you ever have suicidal thoughts. Me being me will never go see one of those assholes. Why? Easy all they do is spout shit like 'oh you're not depressed you just want attention.' Or 'why can't you just be happy? What's making you sad? Let's try to get you better.' Personally these questions just piss me off, but just about everything pisses me off.
On another note, what's with all these teens that are so fucking happy? No one's ever that happy except for maybe that one guy who just won a million dollars or some shit. I mean shit it's just annoying to see these smiling faces pass me while I walk down a hallway at school. Granted they probably don't have as many problems as most kids do, and maybe they actually have a loving family. Still what makes them think that if they are happy they can make others happy? Happiness doesn't just happen all of a sudden; you need time and patience for it, which in terms I do not have.
Walking down hallways seems like another good point to start with as well considering I'm now ten minutes late to my first period class; physics. I shrug as I walk; I guess I'll skip today just like I did yesterday and the day before.
It's perfectly easy to just walk around like you're actually doing something. These teachers are really fucking stupid either that or they just don't care. Which is probably the latter considering they've been teaching for a while; they probably learned all the tricks to skippers and just don't care anymore.
It's as well easy to just sneak to the back of the building and smoke, which is what I'm doing now. But instead of being alone there's some other kid back here. They look like a freshman, kind of short and a little on edge. They stare at me as I sit down and bring out my cigarettes I always keep in case of emergencies. Today's just been one hell of a day, had to go to the counselors and what-not. Had them tell me if I didn't straighten up I'd be expelled and sent to the alternative school. 'Wouldn't be a first.' That's what I always say to them, but they're starting to threaten to call my mom and right now I don't want to have her involved she has enough shit to handle on her own. She doesn't need to be told her seventeen year old daughter is about to be expelled (again).
I look over at the kid again; it's a girl I can tell. She looks like she's about ready to blow seriously what's wrong with her? She's fidgeting and shaking like crazy.
"Hey you okay?"
They whirl seriously whirl their head at me; I think they got a little whiplash there. They're still shaking, and I think sputtering none-sense words.
"Uh-yeah I'm just fi- FUCK!" they lurch forward and sputter out blood. Shit! I get up and walk towards them, a little cautious at first but then I lurch forward just as they're about to fall straight to the ground head first.
"Hey!" I scream at them trying to hold up their dead weight. Fuck, this is not my day.
I rush inside not even caring looking for teachers as I run to the nurses office. I just barge in like I own the place and scream at them "Hey I need some help!"
They rush over to the two of us, and take one look and guide me to a room to put the girl. She's pretty fucking light, if I had to put a weight on her around maybe 90- almost 95. Man she needs to gain a little weight.
I sit next to her bed as the nurse checked her vitals and what not. But when the nurse stepped out for a moment I couldn't help but over hear what she was speaking to the other nurses.
"Why would they let her come back?" the short blonde nurse said.
"They said she was better, but it doesn't look like she actually is. I mean hell that troublemaker actually had to bring her here." What assholes calling me a troublemaker while I was in plain hearing. Whatever; fucking cunts.
I tuned out on that thinking on what the hell is wrong with this girl lying down in front of me. Welp I think it's now time to just wait for her to wake up. I look down at my hands and wrists, the cuts from yesterday are redder than the others. I wish I had a knife right now; maybe it'd be better if I wasn't here anymore. My mom wouldn't have to worry about me, and everyone could just get on with their lives. I run my fingers up and down my arm feeling the ridges under my fingertips. Getting in a trance by the way it felt I didn't notice the hand coming down a resting my mutilated arm. "You know that's not really a good way to get rid of your pain." The girl is staring at me with empathy.
"What the hell do you know about getting rid of pain?"
"Surprisingly a lot actually." She answers meekly. "What's your name?" She asks in a hushed whisper eyes down casted. It's as if she doesn't want to look me in the eyes or something.
"Raven. Yours?" My damn name is so fucking normal.
"Sickle." What kind of fucking name is that?
"So what's wrong with you?"
"Yeah fucking right; you just spit out some blood then collapse. Yeah sure you're just fucking dandy." Okay that was harsh, whatever. She's looks a little hurt actually.
"shit sorry but really what's wrong with you?"
"I have a heart disease." Shit really. Abruptly I stood up and stormed out of the room. That was something I was not wanting to hear.
"get up you worthless piece of shit!" groaning I look over at the alarm clock on my bed stand. 7:12 in the morning. I'm late for school…again. Groggily I sat up and forced my legs over the side of the bed. I was half sitting, half falling off the bed now.
"if I have to come in there you're not going to like the results, GET UP!" urgh mom's in a bitchy mood today…
I wonder if I'll see that one girl, Raven I think that's her name; today. I hope so she seemed really nice, but it was odd that she just ran out like that yesterday.
"child you better be up or you're going to get a major ass beating this time."
"I'm up momma no need to worry. I love you I'm going to leave a little early today got a test in first period" I quickly got dressed and left without another sound from my mother or to my mother.
The school is three miles from my house, and we don't have a bus that runs out to where I live. So the other kids and I who live in this area all have to walk or get a ride from someone. It's actually pretty awesome to be able to get some exercise once in a while. I'm too fat for my own good; I need to lose more weight I know I do. Even mom agrees that I do, she encourages that I work out and lose all the fat on my ugly body.
I take off running as soon as the school is in my sight. I really can't be anymore late than I already am. As soon as I made it up the damn hill Randy the security guard stops me. He's pretty cool for a security guard he always gets me to class on time, or tells them that I was helping him do something. He's also a special ed teacher here but doesn't have to go to work till the other guard comes in for work. "Hey there Randy! Can you help me get in today?"
"Of course Kid, hop on." He said as he started the golf cart he was already in. so for the rest of the way Randy and I talked about some sort of game we could play the next time I come down to visit.
As we get nearer and nearer to the entrance randy gets on his walkie talkie and says he's bringing in a student. Once inside they ask why I'm so late, and I tell them as always I got up late. Not because I was sitting in my bed with pain coursing through my body. I rarely ever get any sleep, last night was one of the first nights in three weeks I've had sleep.
They gave me a pink slip thing to go to my second mod, or period whatever. We call it mods at the school. Instead of going to my class I go outside to where I met that girl, wondering if she'll show up like she did yesterday. As soon as that thought popped up in my head she sauntered through the doors and walked over to where I was sitting. Getting a cigarette out of her bag, she lit it up and sat next to me. Not saying a word, I get out my own cigarette and lit it up.
She takes one look at me then opens her mouth as if to say something. When she does the first thing she says is; "Why the fuck are you at school?" How am I supposed to answer that? Tell her if I don't go to school my mom will beat me till I am black and blue. Then bitch at me some more till I force myself to get up and go to school with huge welts on my face. I just look at her for a second then downcast my eyes. Then lift my head back up and give her my brightest smile. "It's because I wanted to see you!" I exclaim. I take a drag off my cancer stick. She stares for a moment then chuckles.
"That has to be the most atrocious lie I've ever heard, tell me the truth."
"I can't." I say plain and simple.
"Whatever. What grade are you in?" she asks as she finishes her cigarette, and stubs it out.
"The same, shit didn't think you were that old. Thought you were like in ninth or something, because you're so small and all." I gave her a deadpan look, I hate when people call me small, or short. Both equally makes me mad.
"sorry I'm not all big and shit; both of my parents are short so blame it on genetics." I say with a hateful tone.
"Didn't say that to be mean, just stating the truth ya know?"
I laugh, just a small laugh, but I laughed. It's been ages since I've had a real laugh. I know it's the truth that I'm short, but it urks me when others state what is true. I think, I think it's from my mother's mental abuse. I feel that if I was taller my mother wouldn't hurt me, and maybe just maybe if I didn't have this cardiovascular problem she would actually love me.
It hurts, the truth ya know?
"What's so funny?" She asks. A sincere look of concern in her golden brown eyes. It was like she didn't know what to do about me. Almost asking herself' why the hell is this crazy kid laughing?' This is why I'm laughing.
"It's nothing just a funny thought I had when you said that, is all." It wasn't funny at all really. It's sad in a deranged way. Such as when a train is heading on a direct course of death, and the driver knows but he can't stop the train in time; all because some jerkass cut the line. And the drivers laughing, and just as they hit the target his smile slips off his face and he realizes. He realizes he's going to die. All these thoughts in his head speeding through his already jumbled mind seems to take the better part of him and he panics. He panics for more than a minute and then, then there's the impact. He's dead.
We sat there till the bell rang. From then we stayed together and skipped for the rest of the day. When the bell rang signaling us for lunch the two of us headed out to her car. Her car was (as told by herself because I had no idea what car it was) a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda, lime green, and custom leather and stereo set up. I'm hanging out with a fucking badass! As soon as I was settled in she reeved up the car and drove off. Turning the radio up as high as she can, we jammed out to Aerosmith, and Black Sabbath.
We stopped for lunch at some restaurant. Having really nothing to talk about we ate in peace and quiet.
I liked it. I felt normal for once in my life. Raven is just perfect.