I'm back again! This is a story I wrote to an image that I saw for a class I was doing at school.
I'll admit, IT'S SAD AND EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE IS SAD.
Forgive me if I made you cry.
So this is what they mean when they say your life flashes before your eyes.
Well, it's not quite what I had in mind, anyway. I kind of expected images or certain memories to appear; but definitely not a road with posts that had certain years on them. Nor an oddly dressed reaper at the end of the road. He still had his scythe, yeah, but it was his clothing that was way different than what I've seen on the internet.
Connected to each pole was a small gate, and depending on how important that year was, it was a larger gate and vice versa. Clearly my earliest years weren't that important and I didn't exactly want to see myself as a bloody baby; I hate them.
I wandered further down the road, to about when I was about eight years old. That was when I discovered the person I looked up to the most. I walked through the gate of the year 2004, and walked down the loose stoned path that had more small gates with the months written on them.
If I decide to go through one of the months, will it show me the whole month or will it show me dates?
Well, this question can only be answered by doing.
I walked through the largest gate of the 2004 months.
And it turns out that they do go by dates. So I automatically go through the largest gate again. This time, flashes began to appear in front of me, like a slideshow, but then they gradually turned into moving pictures and eventually a movie.
The sound of knocking on the front door downstairs awoke me from my dream about something to do with cake, and I pulled off my blue bed covers and put my slippers on and walked downstairs to see who was knocking on the door. I yawned and rubbed my slate-grey eyes with one hand while the other was sliding down the railing of the stairs as I walked down.
"Mum? Who's at the door?" I asked with a thick voice. Mum didn't answer me, so I walked further down the stairs to see Mum hugging some teenage boy and crying loudly. I quickly ran down the stairs and pulled on Mum's sleeve. She looked down at me and smiled.
"I'm okay, _." Mum replied.
"Who's this?" I asked. The teenage boy looked a little sad when I asked who he was.
"Ah, well, I suppose you were only two when I left. I'm Adrian, your older brother." Adrian replied and bent down to ruffle my hair. I'm rather short for my age, so everyone either looks down at me or bends down.
"Hello." I replied. Mum turned back to Adrian.
"Would you like some breakfast?" she asked.
"Ah, yes, but I have to introduce you to someone first." Adrian said and moved to the side to let a short teenager with mid-length straight black hair and large green eyes to step forward.
"Mum, this is my boyfriend, Collin Jaeger." Adrian introduced Collin to Mum, and stared into her eyes. She smiled and pulled Collin into a hug.
"It's finally nice to meet you, Collin." Mum said as she pulled away from Collin.
"Ah, nice to meet you too." Collin said with a small blush on his face.
"Collin, this is my younger brother, _." Adrian introduced me. Collin smiled and bent over a tiny bit to ruffle my hair.
"Hello, _, it's nice to meet you." Collin said.
"It's nice to meet you too Collin!" I replied and hugged him. I love hugging people. Collin laughed and hugged me back. Adrian and Mum chuckled, and then went into the kitchen to make breakfast.
"What do you boys feel like having for breakfast?"
The memory slowed to a stop after that.
"What the... my name wasn't said during that whole thing... Wait... what is my name?" I asked myself. I shook my head and walked out of the gates and back onto the long gravel path with the years. On that day, my brother became the person I looked up to most, and Collin, too.
I walked further up the road to the gate of the year 2010, when I was 14 years old. This year was also pretty important, to both me, Adrian and Collin. I walked through the gate, then went to August, and then the 16th. The pictures started flicking through and then it turned into a movie.
I walked through the door of Collin's dressing room, and found him staring into the mirror and freaking out about his wedding. He saw me in the mirror and turned around, sat on the couch in the room and dropped his head into his hands.
"_, I don't know if I can do this. I'm so nervous." Collin fretted. I chuckled and sat next to Collin, prying his hands from his face and making him look at me, with a smile on my face.
"Collin, I've known you for six years, and you've been dating my brother for seven. I know that he's making the right choice with you, and you made the right choice in choosing him. I know that you can do this." I said, seeing the confidence build up in his eyes.
"Thanks, _. I think I can do this now." Collin grinned and ruffled my hair.
"No! I already styled it!" I laughed and tried to dodge his hand.
"It looked messy, so I was fixing it." Collin chuckled and I sat down again and sighed and looked at my feet. Collin noticed and he sat back down, looking at me.
"_, what's wrong?" Collin asked.
"Well, I know I shouldn't be putting this kind of thing onto you when it's your wedding day, but..." I began.
"Go on," Collin urged.
"Well, it turns out I actually like this guy and I'm not sure whether he likes me or not, hell, I'm not if he's even gay or bisexual. I don't know what to do." I mumbled.
"Well, the best thing you can do is confess to the guy when he's alone; or ask to see him alone after school or something. If he rejects you, come back home and have some ice-cream, chocolate and watch a Disney with me and Adrian." Collin suggested. I smiled a little and looked up at Collin.
"Thanks, that really sorts things out for now!" I said and hugged Collin, who hugged me back.
"Now, since your brother made you the ring bearer, get your butt out there. Don't lose the rings!" Collin called as I left the room. I grinned and waved as I left Collin's dressing room. I walked back into my brother's changing room and got the rings, left and waited near my brother on the stage. I watched his face as he saw Collin walk through the door.
The memory slowed to a stop.
"My name still wasn't said... I want to know my name!" I yelled. I was seriously getting frustrated with these memories not telling me my name. Could me not knowing what my name is, be linked to my name not being said in my memories?
I walked out of that gate and further down the path, to where the second largest gate in August was. The 26th.
I walked up to Levi, the guy I had a crush on, and tapped him on the shoulder. Levi turned around and smiled a little when he noticed me.
"Hey _ _, what's up?" Levi asked. I wrung my hands and looked at my feet. Is it really this hard to ask someone to meet them?
"U-um, hey, Levi... I was wondering if you could meet me at my classroom after school? I want to tell you something. I'd really prefer it if you came alone." I asked and looked over at Levi's face. It was dusted pink.
"Sure! I'll see you then?" Levi replied and I nodded, walking away with a wave. When I turned around, I grinned like an idiot and fist-pumped the air; it was a success!
The rest of the day went way too slow for my liking, and by the time school finished, I was really nervous. What if Levi rejected me? What if someone heard? What if I get bullied about my sexuality later on?
Too many 'what if' questions were running through my head that I didn't notice that everyone had left and Levi was speaking to me.
"_? Earth to _! I'm here!" Levi's voice pulled me from my 'what if' thoughts.
"Oh, sorry Levi, I was lost in my thoughts." I replied with a blush.
"That's alright. So, what did you want to say to me?" Levi asked with a smile. All of those 'what if' questions ran through my mind and I suddenly became really nervous again.
"_?" Levi asked and I jumped in my seat.
"U-um... I wanted to tell you that I-I..." I began.
"That you...?" Levi urged me on.
"That I like you!" Levi stared at me, and the blush on my face was darkening by the second. The silence was long and the tension in the room was thickening. I turned my gaze from Levi's eyes to my desk, thoughts going through my head.
"... I like you too..." Levi's voice was almost inaudible, and I almost missed what he said. I looked up quickly from my desk to Levi's red face in a second, and just stared.
"Did I just hear you right? 'I like you too'?" I asked. Levi nodded and I felt my face split into a huge grin.
"Thank heavens... I was afraid that you would have rejected me." I chuckled.
"I was freaking out myself... I thought that you had found out that I liked you and you were calling me here to get the truth out of me and that you thought I was disgusting—"
"Take a breath, Levi, and calm down. Now that that's out of the way... Wanna walk me back to my brother's and his husbands'? We're going to be having ice-cream, chocolate and watching Disney movies." I asked.
"Sure, sounds like something I'd do on a Friday with a boyfriend." Levi replied and we walked out of the school and to my brother's house, chatting all the way there. I knocked on the door and Collin answered it.
"Ah, _! Who's your friend?" Collin asked, raising his eyebrow suggestively.
"Collin, this is Levi… The guy I have a crush on." I said and Collin's face split into a grin and he practically turned Levi into a hugging pillow.
"Oh, I'm so glad you didn't reject little JJ!" Collin squealed.
"Oh my God, you're being a stereotypical gay person Collin!" I cried.
"Oh, shush it honey, I'm gay, so I can be stereotypical." Collin snapped his fingers and I chuckled, releasing Levi from his grasp.
"I'm liking your family already." Levi chuckled.
"Yeah, my family loves everyone." I said and we walked inside.
The memory slowed to a stop, and I smiled with a hint of sadness. Levi was someone I loved most dearly in this world, and that story comes later. Although, I don't ever remember being called 'JJ'…
Could 'JJ' bring back memories of my name?
I left August and 2010, and walked down to 2014. I walked into the gate, down to October, then to the 31st. I've always loved my birthday, I'd always mesh it with Halloween, and my parties were always the best. I was turning 18 that year, and it was the best and the worst party of my life.
I was walking blindly with Levi leading me on.
"Leviiiii are we there yeeeeet?" I whined and he chuckled.
"Almost there, love. Just a little longer." Levi replied and kept leading me down to wherever it was we were going. I stumbled quite a bit as the terrain turned from flat to rocky, and every time Levi caught me.
"Here we are," Levi said and removed my blindfold. We were on a hill that overlooked and old cemetery lit by jack-o'-lanterns and candles. To even believe that Levi thought of this was wonderful. There was a picnic blanket on a grassless patch, with a picnic basket and more candles.
"Levi... This is wonderful and incredibly cliché." I said and Levi laughed.
"Yeah, I know it is, but with you, nothing's ever a cliché." Levi replied and I blushed. I tackled Levi with kisses and a hug.
"You're so sweet, I love you." I kissed Levi long and hard. Levi broke away first and sat down, pulling me down next to him and keeping his arm around my shoulders. I snuggled into Levi and we sat there for a long time before my stomach growled. Levi laughed and opened the basket to reveal a cake, some chocolate, lemonade and some biscuits my mum made.
"I thought, 'screw normal food, my J_ isn't normal. He deserves sweet things.'" Levi said as he cut the cake and fed it to me. I laughed and fed him the cake.
"Levi, you're too sweet. How I ever came across someone as amazing as you is beyond my thoughts." I said as I took a biscuit and took a bite.
"Remind me to thank your mother for this idea and the cookies."
"You mean you made the cake?" I asked.
"Yup. Didn't think I had baking skills, did you?" Levi replied.
"Nope," I said as I shook my head.
"You're gonna pay for that." Levi said as he started tickling me.
"No! Stop! I'm sorry!" I laughed and tried to move away from his tickling hands. Everything was happy and peaceful at that moment. We spent most of the night there, watching the candles die low and people play games in the cemetery. It wasn't until half-past twelve, that things went horribly wrong.
We were relaxing on the blanket, watching the stars, when we heard twigs snap. We bolted upright and turned around. I hid behind Levi and held onto his jumper. Even though it was October, it was still a little cold.
"Who's there?" Levi called out as he picked up a large stick. Four figures walked out from the trees, two had bats, one had a large stick and the other... The other one, he had a gun. I made a noise and hid my face into Levi's back; my grip on his jumper grew tighter. The one with the giant stick swung it around and turned to look at the leader.
"Oh, nothing. We're just here for some Halloween fun!" the leader cried out with maniacal laughter, motioning forward with his gun. The three guys ran forward and started swinging the bats, and Levi turned around, pushing me forwards.
"Run, J_! I'll follow behind!" Levi yelled as he started running, dragging me with him. I began running, but I never let go of Levi's hand.
"Aw, don't run away! We just want to play!" the leader yelled as he shot the sky. I screamed and ran faster, Levi's grip on my hand tight. We ran closer to the cemetery, the people there had already hidden or ran away, and I was sure I could hear someone calling the police.
"Levi, we have to hide!" I panted.
"I know! I can't find anywhere!" Levi panted.
"The mausoleum! It's bound to be unlocked!" I suggested but Levi shook his head.
"No, there would already be other people in there, and it would be crowded." Levi replied and pulled me further. I was starting to fall behind. I tripped on a rock and pulled both me and Levi down. We laid there, on the ground, panting and straining our ears for the sound of police sirens or the people's running. By the time I had heard the police sirens, the people had found us and were beginning to attack us with their bats and stick. I curled up into a ball and covered my face with my hands, but Levi was fighting back.
"Over here!" I heard someone yell and I saw beams of light coming from flashlights. I sat up and saw that the three with sticks and bats had abandoned their weapons and ran away, but the guy with the gun was pointing it at Levi. Levi was battered and bleeding from many places, but he was still standing and holding his weapon up.
"No! Don't!" I hoarsely screamed and made an attempt to run for Levi.
A gunshot sounded throughout the area and through my mind, and I watched Levi fall. The stick fell from his hands and his knees hit the ground first, then his chest hit the ground.
"NO!" I screamed and my body obeyed my command, despite how much it hurt, and moved towards Levi. The guy with the gun had run away after he shot Levi. My whole body became numb. I ignored the pain shooting through my body and continued to slowly drag my body towards the collapsed one of Levi.
"Levi..." I whispered and started to cry. I felt a cold hand on my cheek and I saw Levi's pale green eyes begin to turn misty and lifeless. I took Levi's cold hand in mine and grasped it.
"J_... I'm going to miss you." Levi's voice was very quiet and I had to strain my ears to hear him.
"No... Levi... You can't... No, don't leave me... I love you... Please don't leave!" I cried. Levi smiled for the last time and his grip began to grow weak.
"Je_... I love you." Levi whispered as he closed his eyes.
"I love you more." I continued, determined to keep Levi alive until help came.
"I love you... most..." he whispered and he drew his last breath. His hand fell from mine, and the smile stayed on his face.
"Levi...? Levi! LEVI!" I screamed.
I sat there after the memory faded and cried. Levi... I miss Levi oh, so much. Every night before, during and after his funeral I cried. A lot. I've never known such sadness, and I had no heart to actually ever remove myself from that sadness.
I stood up after a while and walked out of October and 2014. I walked down to the last gate and walked through it. 2015... October... 31st.
I was sitting at my desk, writing a letter to my family.
"I hate leaving you like this. I'm sure that there are other ways to deal with this kind of pain, but this one seemed most appealing to me.
"I know that you guys loved Levi, and I did too. A lot. So that's why it hurt so much when he was killed on this day, one year ago.
"Collin, Adrian... You two became my heroes and the people I looked up to the most in life, so I'm probably going to regret leaving you guys the most. I know you love me, and I love you too. But... I'm sorry.
"Mother... How I hate to leave you at all. There are no words for my thanks for what you've done for me in my nineteen years of life. You gave me life. You never judged me on what I did. But leaving this world to follow after Levi is something that I must do.
"I really hate leaving you all, but remember this:
I love you most. Forever and always."
I stood up from my desk, walked over to the bathroom and overdosed on pills. I knew that this would work and would be the painless path. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes.
"I love you all, forever and always."
Those were the last words I ever spoke before I closed my eyes, and never woke up.
"That's right... That was how I left my family." I whispered and walked out of the gates and looked at the strangely dressed reaper directly in front of me. The reaper was suddenly so familiar, but I couldn't place a finger on who he reminded me of. I walked closer to the reaper and removed his mask.
"Levi..." I whispered.
"Jean." Levi whispered. I wrapped my arms around him, and he lifted me off the ground, twirling in a circle.
"Why are you my reaper?" I asked.
"Well, the way this reaper thing works is that, when you die, if the person who was dearest to you is dead, they will collect you when you reach the end of the Path of Gates." Levi replied.
"Oh. Well, at least that makes things better, in a weird, demented way." I said and Levi nodded.
"What's with the getup?" I asked.
"Well, they seem to have a thing for checkers and bright colours." Levi replied and took my hand, leading me beyond the white gates at the end of the gravel path. I have to say that I enjoyed watching my best memories, but the sad ones I didn't enjoy as much.
I learned my name again, which was a good thing. I hated leaving my family the way I had; I don't want to see what they're feeling right now. Or even what they're thinking as they find my lifeless body with the note on the desk.
Collin's and Adrian's faces aren't going to be the epitome of happiness, but the epitome of sadness. They'll know what they meant to me, and they'll miss me with much greatness. Mum… Mother… I can't imagine the pain and sorrow she's going through right now. She knows how much I loved her, but I loved her more than she actually knows.
"Goodbye, mother, Adrian, Collin…" I whisper as I walk through the white gates, never looking back, and only forwards.
*sobs* I'm sorry. I had to.
I can be quite depressing sometimes.
Review~ Tell me what you thought.
Maybe I'll write Levi's version of the story, or an after story. Depends.
~ Corporal Link