yo vivo en una pesadilla. i bailar sobre las tumbas de las personas que una vez amé..

my mind is another world in which i live on the devil's playground and drink from the well of impurity. i'm forever transient in my age, inconsistent with emotional levels and thought process. within moments i turn to blissful peace from the brink of suicide and it's such a hellish trait to have. there are times in which i'm uncontrollable. i can't contain myself or my actions; i barely realize what's happening. it's almost frightening. but it's a chemical imbalance, my doctor says. i have bipolar disorder with psychotic features, he explains. do i believe this? yes and no. sometimes i do. others i think it's all a load of bullshit. my mind is black and white and it's not easy to find common grounds of grey.

i just want to be okay. i don't think that's too much to ask. right?