Nonsensical

I once read a story that made no sense to me.

Will you, the reader, help me make sense of it?

It was about:

princesses who rescue dragons and slay evil, fire-breathing princes,

and a travelling Panda who tells stories in exchange for bamboo shoots.

I remember a tree and an axe that fell in love,

and the king who killed his cousin for the last slice of pie.

It might have been a wondrous story,

but with so many twists, and turns, and misleading signs

somewhere along the way I got terribly lost.

For as it turns out the princesses ate the dragons and sold their hides,

and the travelling Panda is just a guy in a bear suit named Panda.

The axe lied to the tree – just wanted to cut her down,

and the king killed his cousin by making him choke on the last slice of pie.

The story started at the middle and ended with the beginning,

and the end was somewhere in-between.

All this rescuing and poaching,

these bamboo shoots and bear suits,

love and lies,

and gluttonous royalty.

The punctuation a whole nonsensical poem all on its own.

All this swirls chaotically in one hurricane of a book.

The above is all I remember of the story. I can't recall the title or the author.

But from what I've told you about the story so far,

surely you know what it is about?

I hope you can piece this story together and once you have,

please,

do explain it to me, slow and simple.

For I can't for the life of me root through all this nonsense.