Tell me now, how many of you knew that I sat in my grave the evening last? Please, be honest. There's no point in lying to me now. By body is bruised, my hair gnawed off, it's a beastly sight. Perhaps I'm glad you didn't see my demise. I would like to say I'd rest easier knowing you remember my falsely happy mask, but I think both you and I know I'd be lying to you. I thought you cared, I swear I did. But I'm not the only actor here, because you wore your care like a mask as well, my friends. Each and every one of you.
I hate you all.
The blood blurs my sight now, even after two days. But I can see through a window of my left eye, just enough to read "No New Messages" from any of my friends. Not a day goes by anymore, not a single day.
So just go on thinking and sweating, and cursing and crying, but in the back of my mind, I'll know they were never tears that spoke my name. I always wondered when it would end. Don't worry, my friends, your grandparents are alright, and your first dog Mindy waits here for you. But please, no rush. In my life, time stands still. I have Mindy here to keep me company while I wait for your seventy-five odd years. I often feel like I've collapsed and floated away. And my friends, that's all I've ever really wanted.
Every time I jump on a cloud, concrete chains dangle me by the leg. It hurts. But it's not the pain I used to feel. It's an internal screaming that's restrained on the inside and fighting to be free. It's a pain I cannot feel, but know exists. Humming in my 'heart' is a lull of a now empty soul casing. It's a black hole that sucks my words in, and tells me to be cautious. But obviously, I never am. And my friends, you knew I never was. And from now on, I probably never will be.
I always wondered where the end was. I've found it now. Please don't be sad, my friends. Take off your saddened mask because it's just an act. Never be sad. Promise me you'll never be sad. Because I've found it. My friends, I'm home.