It took him a moment to realize he was on the ceiling and another for his mind to catch up with the first thought. He stared at the dry stucko blankly, blinking the sleep from his eyes for several long seconds before it really hit him.
He screamed, higher and shriller than he was willing to admit later, but at that terrifying moment when he realized he was on the ceiling and not in his bed, he could give a rat's ass if he sounded less than manly.
The door to his room slammed open with enough force to cut off his scream. Irked, and for the moment forgetting he was floating on his ceiling, he turned his head to the new comer. "I swear to Jesus, if you made a mark on the wall, I will murder your ass."
The threat, like him, floated to the ceiling without even touching his roommate. The new arrival stared with wide eyes for a long moment, long enough for the blond on the ceiling to sharply recall that he was, in fact, floating on his ceiling.
"What the fu—"
He did not finish and neither male believed that even if he had, it would have accurately described his current predicament.
"I think I broke gravity," the blond replied as he tried to turn himself around so that his back was pressed gently to the ceiling.
"No shit, dude," his roommate uttered, but the words did not seem to really sink in. "You're floating," he said dumbly.
"Really, is this what you call it?" His voice dripped with sarcasm.
"This is like X-Men. Dude, if a bald guy in a wheel chair comes here while I'm at work, don't leave until I get home, 'k?"
"You're—" He had to just sit—float there—for a moment to process what his roommate had just said, all the while trying to decide what he wanted to comment on first. "You are not working today! You are taking me to the hospital!"
"No, dude. We can't tell people, they'll take you to like area 51 or something!" His roommate's dark eyes were wide in fright and still a little sleep clouded.
Okay, okay. He needed to take stock. He was there, on the ceiling. He had all of his limbs. He reached down—over?—to feel his crotch. Yup, all his limbs. He was just like he had been when he had fallen asleep, minus the floating on the ceiling part.
He wanted a shower. He wanted to scream. He wanted a donut really bad.
He took a deep breath and thought about Steve at the donut shop. He could almost see the look on his fat face when he came floating into the shop and casually asked for a glazed donut. The image made him laugh. It was a little hysterical sounding, but he just kept seeing people's faces as he floated along, eating his morning donut and then his laughter was not stopping. He laughed so hard his stomach hurt and he cried for a long moment, but he just could not stop.
"Uh, Greg," his roommate said questioningly.
Greg managed to calm his laughing enough to open his eyes to look at his roommate. The fantasy expressions on his fantasy strangers were mirrored on his best friend's face and the pressure to not start laughing again felt like it was going to burst his head like a pimple. He put on a good show though, and could tell his face was as red as a beat.
"Yeah, Mike?" He groaned, afraid to say anything else.
Mike just kept staring. "You're floating," he said after a moment.
"So I've noticed," Greg replied, finally managing to get his laughter under control. This should be way scarier than it actually was, but all he could manage to feel was an infinite amusement. He grinned at Mike. "Go get ready for work."
"What?" Mike said dumbly.
"Go on, I'll be fine. I'm just going to sit here and figure out how to get down."
They stared at each other, Mike with his mouth agape and Greg still grinning like a kid on Christmas.
"Do you, I don't know, need something? Like some rope or something?"
"If you could get me a donut, that'd be great."
Mike nodded numbly, turning to walk out of his room. "A donut. He's floating on the ceiling and he wants a donut," he mumbled to himself as he left. A few minutes later and Greg could hear the shower start running.
He was still grinning. He was floating on his ceiling and he should have been scared shitless, but aside from having to pee, he was actually pretty happy. If he could figure out how to get down, he would be pretty damn fantastic.
"Okay, body. You are going to stop floating now!" he shouted loud enough to wake the dead. Nothing happened. "Okay…" What had he been dreaming about? Something really cool. He could not remember what it was, but it was cool. He thought maybe it had been about flying? He liked flying dreams and had always wanted to fly. Well, great. He got his wish, so now he wanted to be on the ground. He really wanted to be on the ground.
Just like that, the world twisted, or maybe just his head twisted, he was not sure. He dropped like a stone, landing on the bed beneath him hard enough that he bounced up and fell to the carpet with a loud thud.
The wind had been knocked out of him and he heard the bathroom door open down the hall. "You okay?" Mike called.
"Yup," he replied but it took more effort than it should have to shout back. He sat up slowly, finding that he kind of floated a little more than actually clambered to his feet. He wondered if this was what walking on the moon felt like. He grinned again, because this was just so stupid and so cool all at the same time.
Mike came out a few moments later, looking more awake and sharper with his face clean shaven and his hair carefully placed. "You figured it out."
Greg was holding his arms out like he was balancing on a thin beam. "I might. I feel like I'm going to go floating away if someone so much as bumps me, though."
There was a moment of silence where they both froze. Their gazes slowly moved to meet as they both considered that idea. The grins they gave each other were what could only be considered down right wicked.
An hour later founded them on crowded sidewalk, Mike walking several paces ahead as Greg feigned distraction. His shoulder bumped roughly into a stranger, who turned to glare at him. Greg shouted in alarm and fear as he tumbled sideways, letting gravity release him. He tumbled down, then up into the air, screaming. The man he had bumped into gawped at him, the people around him with their jaws firmly on the ground. Greg floated over the top of a building and out of sight, leaving the poor pedestrians to question their sanity in relative peace. Only one of them was laughing.
Dunno if I want to continue this.