When I was six years old
you told me woman weren't to be heard
so I kept my mouth shut
when you beat mom at night.
When I was seven years old
you said woman didn't shoot guns
and when you finally let me try
you pointed out I'd never be Josh.
When I was eight years old
you started drinking hard liquor
and when mom begged you to stop
you called her a whore.
When I turned nine years old
mom killed herself
you shed no tears
and decided to hit me instead.
At ten years old
I started cutting myself
and when the consular told you
you backhanded me and said I was stupid.
When I was eleven years old
I was the best player in football
you got angry when I told you
because woman don't play sports.
When I was twelve years old
you smashed two bottles over my head
and when I lied to the CPS for you
you thanked me by telling me to duck next time.
On my thirteenth birthday
you said I had become so beautiful
that I looked better than mom had
so you raped me.
When I was fourteen years old
you got me pregnant for the first time
the next night you beat me so hard
I had a miscarriage.
Now I'm so close to fifteen
and you're buried in the ground
you didn't get a funeral
and I haven't yet cried.