Got bored and wrote this really fast because the idea was fresh inside my brain
It's all a lie
Everything I am is a lie that I've been able to keep alive for years
All the joy that everyone thinks I have is a lie
My smile is a lie
My entire persona is an illusion.
Why do I choose to put on an elaborate mask for the others?
One that hides every part that is my true self.
One that hides every crack and every bruise.
One that hides pain with silly antics.
Why do I hide who I really am?
Maybe it's because I want people to think I'm never broken.
I don't want them to think I'm a weakling
I don't want them to think I'm a coward
I don't want them to think I'm a loser
But it gets so hard.
I want to finally shatter so the weight of the lie is off my shoulders
I'll be free of my shame.
I'll be free of my guilt.
I'll be free of my damnation to keep the myth alive forever.
But I have so many reasons not to give even the slightest hint that I'm so destroyed.
What of my friends?
They'll think I'm a basketcase
They'll think I'm being overdramatic
They'll think I'm faking the entire thing for attention
They'll just tell me to get over it.
I guess I just like to play make-believe with others
I like to pretend I'm happy
I like to pretend that I'm like them
I like to pretend that I'm part of their world
Like it's all a huge game of make-believe
But I don't like playing make-believe.
I want people to know the truth.
I want people to see what I really am.
I want people to see how mangled I've become.
All in the hope that they'll help me pull myself from the dark hole I'm trapped in.
But those thoughts of hope are just another example of my elaborate happy make-believe.
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