For those who don't know me, and that would be a lot of you, I'm a bibliophile. My vast array of bookshelves is stacked with dozens of audio books, causing the shelf to topple over like a lopsided tower. I love books, and I love the character developments, the plots, and thriving stories hat books can hold between the spines. I've read some amazing books, and then again I've read some books that I've never want to speak of again because it leaves a bad ringing in my ears.

I never usually get into erotica books, but with the eloquent urging of all my hip unliterary friends I decided that I'd read fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James. I want to see just why this book is so very popular. I get recommendations from people all the time on Goodreads, so why is this book so popular? Is it the dashing romance, the zesty sex scenes, or the riveting character depth? I don't know.

Usually when I look at a book, I look at the synopsis of the book to try and gage what I'll be in store for. I wonder what the back of this book says.

When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating.

Is it just me but after twilight by Stephenie Meyer came out all the men seem to have the same abusive controlling elements as Edward? I don't know. This does sound interesting though. Nothing about gay black men or even straight black men for that matter. I'm sad now… I need Morgan freeman to hold me and give me God powers. I need to have Denzel Washington wrap me up in a nice bear hug and have his sexy new Yorkers voice put me to sleep with him reading my Miranda rights…

"You have a right to have sex wit me. Anyting you say will get me hard and then I'll have to arrest you with my passion… anyway… Let's keep reading!

The unworldly,

Huh? Unworldly? Whoa! So she's an alien? Cool! Wait, no. seriously? Is she? No, seriously? I don't know. I literally don't know. Well, she may be a human just totally a Brittany spears at life, you know? Like she's possibly one of those people who think hard about which color of socks to get because the color of socks could make something happen with karma! or which president to vote for based on soul appearance stature alone. She's probably unworldly in the sense that she's never grown up, and she's just as cute as peter pan would have been if he were a literature student in college at 10 years old. She's probably one of those unworldly people who don't know the exact amount of ketchup to put on your hot dog or hamburger to make you…well, worldly.

Possibly. Anyway. I want to continue reading! I want to see if they mention a black guy.

Innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana's quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

This actually sounds like the adult version of twilight. At least the publishers acknowledge that this relationship is abusive and controlling. This makes it even funnier that the two characters KNOW this about each other, that grey is a dick and Anna is an innocent, unworldly, virgin! Oh my god! She's a virgin! I just figured it out! See, the fact that the relationship is based on faults, and it even says in the back here that it is, this book just might be good. It could be an adult spoof of twilight. I want to read on!

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey's singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control.

I have never ever ever ever heard Edward described in two sentences! Wow! Okay, but something isn't right. None of my friends said this was a comedy….. oh….. Shit.

When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey's secrets and explores her own dark desires.

Oh….my….god….. Wait… I've been making twilight references…. I know I just can't let that go but something is really bothering me here… okay, well, I'm almost done with it. Let's finish.

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

I wonder if the misuses of the word obsess, kind of like the misuse of the word handsome, when guys describe themselves is intentional. That just sounds like something someone would say on their online hookup add. It will be like cannon for bad quotes.

"I'll obsess you, and dazzle you and goshawk you!"

That whole thing sounded like Bella and Edwards relationship in a plain "here's the abusive relationship just like Bella and Edward and, yeah, we're aware that it's abuse so we're going to be adroit and draw attention to it to try and make a compelling story! We're smarter than Stephenie Meyer's publishers." Style

Seriously though, that is actually genius of them to do, but I can't get over the fact why it sounds so much like twilight. Perhaps I'll find out in the first chapter.