What if the world is really empty?
What if my being isn't really me?
Where are the hands that'd catch us?
Where are the lips that'd touch us?
I'm slowly disappearing, breathing out
parts of me, tiny molecules that
turn into dust, nothing left to heal,
and I am left longing, waiting.
You reach out, but the walls are
too thick, I tell you to stay where you
are, this part of me will never be found.
But you, with your stubborn frame, don't listen.
You break your path out of my steps,
you claw the walls and climb the stairs,
but we're still far away, I can't feel
you breathing, I can't hear your beating.
They will not know what hit me,
what destroyed me, but they will
know I'm not whole, with hollow
thoughts and strange speaking.
'I am only dust', I whisper,
I drift away, I disappear,
and I know is wicked and red,
but I'm falling apart while you watch the sky.
I'm ashes, and in that way I go.
I wonder if they shine while they float,
if they burn your mouth away when you
kiss, soft caresses and salt.
I silently wonder, 'am I part of you?
Am I wearing your clothes? Am I living
your life? Am I hugging your friends?
Do I have a birthday? Does anybody care?'
Someone must, for I am burning away
and you're not, parts of me fly away
and follow your beating, those parts of
me, I wonder, 'are they being cherished?'
I think they are, for I feel empty,
incomplete, I am left drifting on
this sea of beasts, but you're
smiling, you're fading delicately.
I think they are, for they touch
your face, taint your skin, burn your lips,
and the dust runs through your hair
like warm fingers on an autumn day.
Parts of me peel away, I am bare,
I have nothing to hate anymore,
I am falling apart, but for dust I am,
and parts of me are now with you-
only dust to dust I could reach you.
My tiny molecules, particles of dust
embrace you, and I am whole,
and I am part of something,
I am peaceful, I am free-
only dust to dust did you know I loved you.
Only far away and falling apart did I dare to.