Top 5 Reasons Why Top 5 Lists Are Pointless

5. They do not cook your food for you. Really what is the point of anything if it does not help you turn the toaster on without getting up, or microwave your little cup of two minute noodles.

4. They only include five things. What happened to the other sixteen hundred things about clouds that didn't make it onto some list about clouds that is out in the big wide cloudy world somewhere. Really, to get a proper understanding of anything, knowledge must be expanded beyond five simple points, therefore it is time to go search that other fifteen hundred and ninety-five things about clouds that didn't make it onto the list.

3. Many lists are based on scientific research. According to the research conducted by the Nonsense Department of the University of Whoknowswhatnow, the multitude of papers regarding Top 5 lists cannot be taken seriously without scientific proof. However evidence is usually rendered as false eventually and so all lists are proven to be a complete farce. To support this, according to the proof given by a close study of three thousand and one participants, science really cannot prove whether it is better to have an afro, curly, straight, beehive or no hairdo at all. So to sum up: proof is about as much nonsense to understand as the TV series Lost. Oh look a polar bear.

are not enough reasons and so random excuses must be made up to complete the list, which does not at all contradict anything such as no. 4. Excuses include: a dog ate this reason and I spent too much time researching clouds it fizzled my brain and I'm no longer apt to think of anything but oh look a fluffy Cumulonimbus.

1. You just wasted two minutes of your time by reading this, which could have been better spent putting the toast on, which this list will unfortunately not do for you.