"Shit," I said out loud, as I stared at the test results. I looked back at it couple of times, just to make sure I didn't make a mistake.
But, it wasn't a mistake: that little plus sign was definitely there.
I mean, I guess it wasn't the biggest deal in the world. We both had jobs, lived together. Heck, we were even married. But the things I scolded myself for anyway were the fact that I was only twenty- one and that it wasn't planned.
As insanely annoying as it was, Beckett had a plan for everything. He planned out our expenses, our living arrangement. He even made a list of all the things he wanted to do and when we were going to do them. I had told him many times that he couldn't just plan out his life like that, but he still found some sort of comfort in it anyway.
But I remembered one important thing that was on the list, and that was when he wanted to have kids. That wasn't supposed to be for another three years, according to said list. I mean, I didn't think that he would be necessarily upset that we were expecting, I just thought that he was going to be stressed.
It already stressed Beckett out enough that he already worked with kids on a daily basis. Over the past couple of years, private lessons with Jack had turned into an entire class, as well as several more private lessons. I always found it ironic when he complained about most of them being spoiled rich kids, him being one himself. He didn't think it was funny, though.
I knew I was going to have to come out of the bathroom eventually, so I anxiously set down the test again and washed my hands. I slowly opened the door and stepped out. I walked the short way down the hall from the bathroom to the living room, where Beckett was still sitting on the couch. He looked up at me when I entered.
"You were in the bathroom a long time," he noted. "Are you sick?"
"N-not quite," I mumbled, going to sit down next to him. "I need to talk to you about something."
"Is it good or bad?" he asked, sitting up straight.
"I guess it could be taken either way," I said, my voice shaking a little. I don't think he noticed, though.
"Okay," he mumbled. "So just tell me."
I took a deep breath before starting, which Beckett cut off right away.
"Okay, if you're going to start explaining yourself before you say it like you always do, I'd rather skip that part. Just tell me," he said, smiling a little to try and show me that he wasn't trying to offend me. I stared at him a minute, as he stared just as intently back at me. I reached over and squeezed his hand for my own moral support.
"I'm pregnant," I said, in a small voice. I watched nervously as his expression morphed into something that I couldn't read, which worried me.
He was still holding my hand. Actually, if anything, his grip on my hand tightened.
"Are you okay?" he asked me, slowly. It kind of took my breath away, the way he asked me that. I blinked, not expecting that as a response. He didn't sound upset, but he didn't sound particularly excited, either.
"I'm just nervous," I told him, "That you're upset."
He thought about it for a minute.
"I don't feel emotionally prepared," he said, stiffly. "What does this mean for us?"
"It means we're going to be parents. It means that we have to adjust some things to prepare," I said, calmly. As I said this, the reality of it all suddenly occurred to me. There were going to be doctor's appointments that needed to be scheduled. There would be more bills to pay, baby things to buy, not to mention the adjustments to our daily lives once the baby actually arrived.
Jeez, it hadn't been fifteen minutes since I had read the results on the test and this was all already going through my mind.
Beckett interrupted my deep thoughts by practically attacking me with a hug. He held onto me tight, like he didn't want to let go.
"I love you Kenzie," he said into my neck. He then pulled back and just looked at me, smiling finally.
"I love you, too. . .Are you excited?" I asked.
"I'm terrified, honestly. But we're going to be together the whole way, and I know that as long as I'm with you, we'll be okay," he explained.
"I'm glad to hear that," I said, smiling, and then leaning in to kiss him quickly.
"Well, good," he replied, and then gasped. "We have to tell everyone now!"
"Whoa, let's not tell everyone . . ." I mumbled. "Usually people like to wait a little while before announcing things. I mean, I should probably get a blood test, too just to double check."
His smile faded.
"So, you're not sure? You just told me-"
"I know, I mean- the at home test I took was positive, and I haven't gotten my period, it makes sense," I said.
"No it doesn't, we've been using condoms and you're still on the pill. Crap, what if you're not really-"
"Honey, calm down. Okay, my theory is that it was from after I was sick a couple weeks ago, remember?" I asked. He nodded slowly. What had happened was I got some sort of bad virus and Beckett was paranoid that he'd get sick too. Because of this, he refused to kiss me on the lips or sleep with me for an entire week. Needless to say, we were back in bed as soon as I got better, and we may have forgotten a certain step.
"Okay, so we didn't use one, but the pill-"
"Antibiotics. I read that it doesn't always work with certain antibiotics," I explained. He let out a sigh of relief and I smiled. I was glad he was reassured by the fact I was sure I was pregnant.
"I still want to tell Amy and Jared, at least," he said. "They'll want to know."
I agreed to that- immediate family and best friends were appropriate exceptions. He picked his cell phone up off of the coffee table and dialed his sister's phone number.
"Put it on speaker," I suggested, and he did.
"Hello?" Amy answered.
"Hello, Amy," Beckett said. "I have something to tell you-"
"What is it?" she asked.
"Kenzie's pregnant," he said into the phone, smiling. It felt good to see that it genuinely made him happy. I was so worried that we were going to have an issue.
"What?" she gasped. "Beckett that's wonderful, congratulations."
"I'm not pregnant- Kenzie is," he responded. "Kenzie's sitting next to me, by the way. The phone's on speaker phone."
"Obviously she's the one that's pregnant- congratulations, Kenzie, I'm happy for you guys," she said.
"Thank you," Beckett said for me.
As time went on, everyone we knew slowly found out. I went to doctor's appointments, and everything was going as planned. It was stressful, but things worked out. As much as he didn't want it to be, Beckett's work schedule was flexible, and he was able to reschedule some classes around appointments. We occasionally had arguments about this, because he didn't seem to understand why he needed to go with me to them.
"It's not my doctor's appointment," he'd said.
I took a deep breath, trying not to get angry. "Beckett, honey, you still have to go with me."
"I don't," he argued. "I have a class."
"You have a private lesson with Jack. Jack's a big kid, he can handle rescheduling," I pointed out.
"Fine! I'll go to the stupid appointment, "he exclaimed. "I just hope you're satisfied with the fact that you're ruining my life."
"You're being over dramatic again," I grumbled, as I continued to mark on the wall calendar in the kitchen the date and time of the particular appointment. "And it's not stupid."
"Okay," he mumbled, exiting the room.
I mean, it was frustrating, but I tried my best not to get too worked up about it. I had to stop myself every now and then to put things in perspective. This was going to be a big change for both of us, and he was the one that was least okay with change. This changed so many things for Beckett.
For one thing, he had become obsessed with budgeting our expenses and making sure we didn't spend more than what we should on certain things. It wasn't too bad and it honestly made saving money easier, but now that we were bringing a baby into the picture that would have to be reworked entirely.
Not only that, but we would have to baby-proof the apartment. Speaking of apartments, we would probably have to find another one eventually, since ours was only one bedroom.
It was just so much more stressful, but I knew that it was going to be worth it.
See, I told you I'd do one-shots . . . yet somehow I feel like this could turn into another story. Damn.
What do you think? What else do you want to see?