Seriously, how could I have ever thought that Alex Kingsley was hot? I haven't the foggiest how it happened. Maybe I was so full of raging teenage hormones that they were thrust upon the closest male who wasn't my brother. But that would be Max, wouldn't it? Well, except Max and I have been friends since we were in nappies and I think of him as a brother…

Actually, now I think about it, Alex's blond hair does look good when it falls into his brown eyes like that. And he does have rather nice shoulders. Very broad, but in a slender-ish sexy way, not a caveman way, which is just about the unsexiest thing I can think of. Other than my great grandma riding a tricycle .Naked. Ugh… Oh no! Now I'm thinking about it and…


A tanned hand waved in front of my face and all thoughts disappeared- including the naked-grandma thing. That's just disgusting on so many levels. I looked at Tyson blankly.

"You just looked like you were remembering the Collifeild boys' seventeenth" He told me. I blanched in horror. That thought is even worse than my grandma naked riding a tricycle, trying to pedal so all her flab goes everywhere… sob. Why do I do this to myself? Do I want to become so depressed that I commit suicide?

"I'm fine. Just… having a day… nightmare?"

I could hear Alex and Hugo talking about how the lengths of their penis. Why do guys do that anyway? You don't hear girls talking about the weight of their boobs (Okay, maybe sometimes…) Tyson had gone over and joined them. Well.

I decided to scout some potential boyfriends and turned it into a list. My mum always said I needed to be more organised. This was a good way to practice.

The list had not one person on it.

Not. One.

It's in times like these that I desperately need Max, of course he's completely unapproachable right now as he's pulling the whole "I'm filled with angst and listening to The Vaccines because they're punk" mood he gets in. He can be so moody. I mean, is it that hard to listen to The Vaccines and be in a normal mood? Apparently, not for Max. And as much as I would like to have that relationship with Hugo that I can unload to him like that, I just can't. Reason being (watch as I practice my organization skills! I wish mum were here to see this…)

1) Hugo never hooks up. Not unlike me lately, but I'm pretty sure he's in his fourth year at high school, and hasn't even kissed, I mean seriously, not even a peck on the lips, since second year.

2) He never seems to understand why there are such importance surrounding relationships. (We're not very similar in that way.)

3) He's so chill he just doesn't care (Max isn't as chill as Hugo, so, you know, I can talk to him)

Anyway, I need Max for these things. He gets it. He calms me down in my hormonal rages by telling me I'm a shithead and need to be quiet. (Profanity runs in the 'family')

Anyway, I need a boyfriend. Badly. I should write about this in my book… my love interest could be… Adrian Kingsdale. Oh yes. That could definitely work… He'd be tall, and sexy, and blonde. With brown eyes. This is starting to sound disturbingly like someone I know… (Okay, it's not really disturbing, but I'll probably have to change his appearance. Max would rip my head off if he read about Alex being my fuck-buddy)

I stood up, deciding I had enough of Alex, Hugo's and Tyson's penis jokes. I told them I was going to find Max, when really I wanted to write some more. I hadn't told them about my novel. I wanted it to be a surprise.

The Misconducts, Mischievous Encounters and General Naughtiness of Trisha Darlinghurst- Chapter Two

Trisha flounced over to her best friend, Matt, a gigantic smile on her face. Matt raised an eyebrow at her coolly, as if daring her to ruin his suave image. It turned out she did dare, by launching herself at him and pressing him into a suffocating hug. Her usual throng of men gave Matt jealous looks, as well as a few girls here and there. The two best friends ignored them- They knew Trisha couldn't help being stunningly gorgeous.

"You are such a Mary Sue" Max said in disgust, crossing his arms.

"I am not! I'm merely telling, not showing"

"Shouldn't it be the other way?"

"Do you want me to go on a rant about how hot she is?"

Max rolled his eyes, and pulled his hoodie over his head, revealing his black and white Fever Ray t-shirt that complimented his grey corduroys. That fashionista. That's not to say I'm not one, except I'm more of a high-waisted shorts, hi-tops, tucked-in band t-shirt kind of person. But on a more serious note, Max has been all moody these past two weeks (Hence the t-shirt. If you haven't heard of Fever Ray, check them out on Youtube) ever since the Lily- Finnegan thing. He hasn't even spoken to her since. His moodiness is making him moodier than usual, which is quite moody indeed. It's bad, but anyway:

"Just keep on writing, you nincompoop"

See what I mean?!

"I heard about your midnight rendezvous" Matt told her when they parted. They walked past the clusters of boys, to go join their friends Molly and Tyler. "Apparently, you created quite the scandal. Screwing the science teacher and what not"

Max snorted. "You're kidding me, right? 'And what not'? Who actually says that?"

"Oh, as opposed to nincompoop?"

"Sod off! At least I don't sound like I come from a nineteenth century novel!"

"I didn't screw the science teacher" Trisha said, eyes widening in surprise. "I just asked him to tutor me, is all?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "Trish, everyone knows 'tutor' means fuck."

"No it doesn't" Max said, confusion dancing in his eyes. "I tutor people all the time"

I sighed deeply. "Maximilan, in the world of the horny everything means fucking" Why do I have to explain this to him? He's probably getting more action than me!

"Oh. Well… carry on then" He sighed, propping his chin onto his hand and looking at me expectantly. I took the hint after a moment.

"It does not!" Trisha said, hitting him on the arm lightly. "I suck at Science, you know that!"
Matt shook his head at her. "You're the top of the class"

Max groaned. "Why? Why? Why does she have to be such a Mary Sue?" He looked at me with thinly veiled horror. "She's stolen my spot of top of the class as well. You're awful Trinity" He looked so heartbroken that I nearly changed my mind about the Sue-ness of Trisha. Nearly.

"It's not my fault that Trisha is clever!"

"Um, yes it is!" Max shot back, irritated. "You created her, remember?"

"Oh, shut up and let me write."

Max glared and, in a clear sign of defiance, plugged his earphones into his IPod and blasted the music. Seriously, this guy was such a baby. And he was going to blow his eardrums if he continued listening to Skrillex with the volume that loud. I could hear it from a metre away.

This boy had serious depression issues. Everything upset him! I mean, I get that he didn't want his fifteen year old sister being groped by a seventeen year old who beat him in everything. I get that. But really, my character shouldn't be making him even more depressed! She can't help that she's awesome!


Max and I were in the refectory when Monica drew me aside and demanded I tell her once and for all. Was. Max. Gay?

My answer was a dull thud. Whoops. My jaw had just hit the floor. I grabbed it quickly (I'm being dramatic and animate here. No way did I have a really freaky jaw that could hang so low that it hit the floor. Monica might, however, with how much dick she… never mind)

"Mon," I said before pausing. The other girl was watching me impatiently, as was Max ten metres away, holding his lunch tray in his hands, one fingerless gloved hand playing irritably with his headphones. He decided to wear headphones instead of earphones after Jennifer ripped one out of his ear earlier and demanded he listen to her. Apparently, you couldn't do that with groovy, sleek black Dr. Dre's. "How the hell am I supposed to know if he's gay or not?"

Monica tossed her hands up in the air, her long brown curls bouncing prettily. Everything Monica did was pretty, she even screamed at Jonathan prettily. I had already given her a character in my book- Molly Hunterbury. Trisha's best girlfriend and the second prettiest girl in the school.

"How the hell can you not?" She asked in exasperation. "Are you best friends or not?"

I gaped at her. Of course Max and I were best friends! Just because I didn't know his sexual orientation didn't mean… Hold on! Why hadn't Max ever told me about the people he fancied, and who he fucked and stuff? As his best friend, I had a right to know!
Oh, I've got it! He's secretly in love with me. Annnnd that was why he always got annoyed when I talked about getting a boyfriend, and why he never let me touch him or anything! Because his moe senses would go into overdrive and he would be forced to ravish me there and then. That is so going into my book…

Monica didn't wait for me to respond. "Why doesn't he ever give in to me, Trinity?" She demanded, placing her hands on her hips and glaring at the figure that was Max. He looked really annoyed. We may want to finish this up quickly….

"Listen Mon, I have no idea, but I need to go or said emo-guy is going to rip my head off" I gave her a quick hug, not waiting for her to respond before I went over to Max. He rolled his eyes at me, and glowered at Monica who had tossed her hair over her shoulder and strutted over to the depressingly- not funny Jonathan Collifeild.

"What was that about?" Max asked flatly, jerking his head towards Monica. I shrugged nervously. Max would turn into a dragon and breathe fire if he knew we had been talking about his sexuality. He scrutinized me for a second, his nose scrunching up slightly, before he realised he wouldn't get anywhere with me.

We began walking out to the oval, lunch trays in hand. We passed some bug, buff guys, who looked kind of familiar to me, but I wasn't sure why. Where had I seen them before? I wasn't sure, and had nearly spaced out, when something caught my attention.

"You're camp, Collifeild"

Yeah. That.

I whipped my head around to see who had spoken, and my eyes locked on a big, red-head jock. Justin Webley. He was a boy in my year, a few classes below us, but his brawn made up for his lack of brains. He was quite buff, clashing with Max's slender built. He was the school's star quarterback, and was the biggest bully around. He sometimes picked on Hugo, which really pissed me off. Now he was going to stand there and call my best friend gay? What was with everyone thinking that anyway? I lurched towards Webley, but it seemed Alex beat me to the punch. Literally.

I don't even know where he had come from! One minute it was just me, Max and this dickknob, then Alex appeared out of nowhere. He advanced and hurled his fist to Justin without hesitation. "Shit." hissed Justin, stumbling backwards a bit, but never losing his poise. "Don't call him that." Alex spat at him, wiping his brow, as if he had broken a sweat in the past two minutes, which gave him this intense look if you get me. That bad-ass-MoFo-on-a-motorcycle look. It really enhanced the moment. Not that I enjoyed the moment. I loathe Justin on a good day, but when he calls my best friend gay in the middle of hallway as loud as his lungs can bear, it's like Kung-Fu Panda gonna's break out from within me and tear this guy to pieces. I love Max. It's just that Alex gets this whole 'rebel' thing down pat. Maybe I'll get into grave danger when he's around. I'll need to look into that. Anyway.

Then, with a steady pace, he walked back, flipped his hair from his eyes, and nonchalantly said: "Let's go."

Well, damn.