Looking back

It was defiance

Strong, fierce, proud

Like the roar of a snow leopard

Feeling far from extinction.


It was hope

Hope for change and growth

Maybe I would have fell

In an everlasting sleep


Sleeping beauty seemed to find her happy ending.

Perhaps I would have, too.

If it wasn't for the car

Speeding through red lights


Or the doctor.

Prodding my every side.

Sniggering at yet another

Failed attempt.


His face, like every other

Stranger I seem to see.

Or, in my case, they see me

As useless. Different.


Sometimes I forget

It even happened.

Happy days where I feel drunk

Or bursting with spirits through my brain.


I stay away from him.

Him, I call it. Just him.

He is the feeling of pain

Shaped as a person.


But not really a person.

A thought, daydream

Yet it is far more

Than that will ever be.

So. That just happened.