There used to be a grassy field,

Between you and I.

Completely open,

Completely happy.

Something changes,

A slip of the tongue,

You don't notice,

I hide the hurt.

A steady forgetfulness,

Details ignored or forgotten,

You don't notice,

I bury the pain.

The grassy field has changed,

Difficult to see.

It's a simple change,

A low, rocky line severs the grass.

One bold statement,

Two, three, four,

You don't notice,

I ignore the pain.

Talking becomes minimal,

Mostly you,

Not noticing,

While I console myself.

The low line rises,


Centimeter by centimeter,

Until it reaches my waist.

Condescension becomes your only language,

Repetitive and repulsive,

You don't notice,

I ignore the rising bile.

Conversation becomes one sided,

You do not hear me.

I wonder if you care.

I wonder if I care.

The grassy field now has a hard wall,

Stretching between us,

Cold and hard,

Yet transparent.

You continue on,

Nothing changed,

You still don't notice.

I am no longer shocked.

The indifferent mask hides my anguish and anger.

Anger of the worst sort.

Not the impulsive fire,

But the icy calm.

Ice sharpens,

Logic ever-present.

Lingering in the back of my mind.

It poisons your every action.

And yet,

A tiny part of me,

Understands why this happened,

Understands why you changed.

The anger evolves,

Still ever-present,

But with self loathing,

And overwhelming sadness.

I hate myself,

I hate your actions,

I hate my hurt,

I hate my anger.

I cling to anything positive,

But it gets shattered,

Not by my anger,

But by you.

The vicious cycle of hurt and loathing,

Rears its ugly head.

The worst part is,

You don't notice.

You can't see the wall,

You don't understand,

The depth of my pain,

The depth of my anger.

I open my mouth,

Desperate for change.

My words reverberate off of the wall,

You never hear me anymore.

Tears blind me,

Anger stabs me.

Whatever you see,

It's not reality.

I stop walking with you,

Falling on the grass,

Tired of trying,

Apathy starting its cold descent.

My tears stop,

The anger ebbs,


A tiny reprieve.

The cold apathy has returned,

An advisor for my anger,

A weapon for my pain,

Numbing my conscience.

The wall is done,

Stretching to the sky.

I am gone.

You continue walking,

Blathering to a ghost.

I am finished.