Hi, I'm back. This isn't my usual sci-fi, trying something new... A sort of experiment.


Introduction

Sometimes, I have those days when I want to die.

When school and life are too hard, when I just want to break down and cry, right in front of everyone, and just fade away into nothingness, away from prying eyes and lashing tongues.

But I cannot escape away, no matter how hard I try. I am here, and I will try to live as people say I should.


I hate school.

People say I am lucky, I am popular, although I do not want to be. I guess it is the blue eyes and blonde hair. Maybe it is because I am smart. Is it my refined smile?

I do not want attention, but I cannot act rudely. That is not me either.

I just want away from everyone.

I do not want people to like me. Or love me for someone I am not.


I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone I could spout my emotions to.

But Mother is gone.


Sometimes, I cry in my room at night, my head tucked beneath the pillow, blocking out the noise of my heaving sobs.

Father will not come to check on me.

He would not know what to say.

He cannot love me without the guidance of Mother.


I wish I had someone to love.